I THINK we all have many worthy heroes like in life, but my hero is somebody closer to home. It's my husband Julian Erskine, and I've chosen him because I get to see him up close every day, and I know that he really is a genuinely good guy.

Julian was born in Dalkey, and his mother Clair, known as Cuckoo, was heavily involved in amateur dramatics in Dalkey, while his dad Eric and sister Madeleine were both actors. Julian spent his summer holidays from school with a theatre company in Killarney from the age of 14, because his sister Madeleine was in the company. She was supposed to be keeping an eye on him, but I think he was a bit of a wild boy back then. Mind you, he still has a bit of a wild streak in him!

Julian started off making the tea, and then he progressed to learning about production, lighting design, and stage management. I'm very bad with dates and numbers, so I can't remember exactly when we met, but it was when I was in my 20s and he was an assistant stage manager.

We were friends for ages, and I didn't think anything of it really, because he was seven years younger than me, but we became closer as time went on. It was all so slow and gradual, that to this day, we sometimes sit over a bottle of wine and say, "How did we end up here?" I know that sounds very unromantic, and we don't celebrate Valentine's Day or anniversaries or Mother's Day . . . but we are romantic, in a different type of way.

Often when Julian goes away, he'd leave a poem that he's written for me on the pillow. He's very artistic and creative, and for his 50th birthday, I gave him 10 books of his poems, printed on beautiful, handmade paper. The name was, Dreaming of Life, which was a part of a poem he wrote for me called, 'My Nito'.

Julian got involved with Riverdance from the summer of 1994, and became production manager for the show. We couldn't have foreseen at the time that this little gem of a Eurovision act would grow into the huge production that is Riverdance. He went through all of the teething and logistical problems associated with setting up a production on that scale, and dealing with so many egos. I can remember faxes arriving at all hours of the night with problems, but he never, ever lost the head.

I've seen him deal so calmly and professionally with people, who to my mind were being totally unreasonable, and he somehow always manages to see their point of view. He never loses patience, and is just a beautiful, caring, calm man. That doesn't mean that he's an angel, and he'll curse and shout with the best of them when he's fixing a shelf at home, but when it comes to dealing with people, he's just wonderful and full of integrity and humour.

Julian worked with Abhainn Productions for many years, and last year a new company was formed called Long Road Productions. They manage Riverdance, but they also produce other shows, such as I, Keano. He is now senior executive producer with Riverdance.

I think Julian and I are like two peas in a pod. That isn't to say that we don't fight, because we do, and we've had some hard times emotionally, but our relationship is like a big piece of elastic that gets stretched and then snaps back in place.

We were married in the registry office in 2000, and had been together for many years prior to that.

Julian is a wonderful father, and has a really strong bond with our two beautiful children, Gemma (24) and Danny (19), who are the lights of our lives. There is never anything left unsaid in our family, and we have great fun, just sitting around the table arguing and laughing. It's fantastic and we love it.

I developed a very debilitating condition called fibromyalgia about five years ago, which is thankfully in remission now. I was so tired and sore at times, that I couldn't bear Julian to touch me if he went to give me a hug. I snapped at him sometimes when he asked how I was, because I was feeling so unwell, but he was just so good through it all and gave me space. He wouldn't allow me to do any housework, and he and the children just rowed in behind me with total support. And they still watch me like hawks.

We work in a very precarious business, but thankfully have never missed a mortgage payment or a bill over the years.

Julian has always been very supportive of me, and although I work, I have never once felt the burden of having to earn the mortgage, because he's a wonderful provider and works very hard. He also has amazing energy, and I don't know if he actually knows how much loved he is by everyone.

Three of Julian's very close friends died over the past few years, and he seemed to know exactly how to bring comfort to them before they passed away, and to their families. When his very close friend Rupert Murray died, he went out on the Gaiety stage and made a wonderful speech about him before the performance of Riverdance started. I stood and watched him from the wings, and tried to help him through it, because it was very hard for him as he was desperately upset. He's a really soft, kind, giant of a man, with the heart of a lion, and that's why he's my hero.

Anita Reeves stars in Stephen Sondheim's 'Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street' at the Gate Theatre, Dublin, from Tuesday 24 April Tel: (01) 874 4045