"I'M Awoman looking for a man who is kind, sensitive, generous, independent and fun-loving. . ." Aren't we all, you might well add. Recently described as the eBay for humans, online dating has become one of the fastest-growing businesses in Ireland, with the industry, although relatively new here, already estimated to be worth up to 5m, and expected to double by 2011. Maybefriends. com, theMeetingPoint. ie, match. com, perhapsmore. com, anotherfriend. com, introductionsireland. com and iloveyou. ie are just a fraction of the dozens of Irish sites available, all offering the chance to find romance.

But having replaced the old personal ads in newspapers and magazines, seeking romance in cyberspace has finally shaken off its lonely hearts image, which for so long conjured up pictures of desperate 'Judith Hearne' type characters willowing away in dreary bedsits.

"Looking for love through an agency used to carry a huge stigma, and in some small circles it still does. It used to be up there with the dirty magazines, but thankfully that attitude has changed, " says Quentin Doran O'Reilly, creator of Perhapsmore. com, one of Ireland's many online dating sites.

The 32-year-old Kildare man set up the website in 2005 when several of his friends admitted it was difficult to meet anyone in the more conventional places, like pubs and clubs.

"Internet dating is something which has exploded in the States over the last five years and has now become a normal means of interaction. If you think about it, nearly all office communication is via email, while shopping, banking and chatting to friends is regularly done on the internet, so why not dating? It's been a slow process but Irish people are definitely becoming more comfortable with the Sex In The City idea of dating, just giving it a shot and seeing what happens, " adds Doran O'Reilly, who is currently developing a new section on his site, called 'a little bit gay'.

But while it's catching on fast in Ireland, online dating is still very much in its infancy, compared to the market in the US says Laura Kelly, product manager at TheMeetingPoint. ie. Around four million Americans log onto online dating sites every day, while around 15% of all internet users also go online dating. "Since we set up two years ago, we have 28,000 registered members on TheMeetingPoint, and we get a lot of good feedback from people. Irish people have definitely moved away from the personal ads as online dating gives them much more control over who they want to communicate with. And the fact that most of us have access to a computer these days, either at work or at home, makes it very easy."

Kelly says that while members range in age from 18 to 60-plus, the bulk of users are in the 30 to 40 age-group, with slightly more males registered than females, a universal phenomenon it seems. "The stigma attached to online dating is definitely fading. Nowadays there's a willingness among most people to talk about their experience of online dating. A few years ago if you met someone online or through a personal ad, you wouldn't admit to it, " says Kelly.

Recently engaged, 40-year-old Fidelma McCabe met her fiance David Freeman online. "Online dating was perfect for me. I was divorced and had three kids so I didn't have that much time for going out to meet people in the conventional way. And most of my friends were married, so again they weren't going out so much, " says McCabe, who became involved in organising social events for hundreds of online daters.

"I just took it upon myself to host various events at weekends, because it was a way of making friends for many people, and it was a much easier for everybody involved to meet each other at group events than in a one-to-one situation. If people got on well together at the event they could take it further and if it didn't work out, it wasn't so bad because there was still the rest of the group there."

Organising online dating events is something McCabe hopes to get involved in further in the future, as she feels it's an area she has so much experience in.

"I became an expert at reading between the lines of the web profiles, and knowing who to steer clear of, " she laughs. "When you see 'looking for discreet fun'' you know they're married and looking for an affair, or someone looking for 'just fun and laughs' isn't interested in a long-term relationship."

For Fidelma and David, romance blossomed slowly but surely, with both being a little cautious to start with. "We were emailing for three or four months, when David said he'd love to text me, and after texting for a while, he asked if he could phone me. So the next step was to meet in person, and that's how it happened."

Maeve Holden, 25 and her flatmate Julie Gray, also 25, both signed up with perhapsmore. com, and feel that nowadays there's definitely no stigma attached. "We decided to do online dating because we thought it would be a bit of fun, and maybe a way to meet someone nice, particularly since it's quite difficult to meet new people in a pub, " says Holden, adding that it's good fun just chatting online with various people.

"There's no pressure on you to meet up, just email, have a laugh and do a bit of slagging."

Julie Gray agrees. "If you're not from Dublin, but you move up here after college, you have to make a whole new circle of friends, and if you're not big into the pub scene, you're limited in meeting new people.

Meeting online is really easy. You might just chat about what's happening in the world, or what's on TV or what you're up to. You don't go into personal stuff, or get too serious. And you don't want to ask the other person too many questions either as if you're interviewing them. It's just a bit of fun really, " says Gray.

Quite apart from being big business, it seems that online dating is a pretty serious topic among the academics too, with an extensive research department dedicated to it at Berkeley University in California. A recent research project examining perception and expectation of online daters by the department of psychology and the school of information at Berkeley found that "online dating systems have begun to influence not only individual lives but also cultural notions of love and attraction". The researchers found that online daters were often disappointed after meeting their 'date' in person, leading the academics to conclude that communication via certain channels such as the internet tended to lead to idealisation of the other person.

Academic Joseph Walther suggests that the internet is an 'impoverished' channel of communication, in that users are unable to get as much information as quickly as they would in a face-to-face encounter, and therefore they fill in the blanks optimistically about the person whom they are emailing.

"It's a common problem with online daters, " agrees Doran O'Reilly. "People build up an image of the other person they are emailing, and while they may have the chemistry online, it just isn't there when they meet.

Which is why we urge people to be as honest as possible when creating your profile.

I mean we all try and make the best of ourselves. Even when we meet someone in the conventional way, we pull our tummies in to make us look a little more slender, and we try and present the most interesting side of ourselves. But online daters should try and be as real as possible, " says Doran O'Reilly.

"I am always telling people to be themselves when communicating with others online, " agrees Fidelma McCabe. "You find some people, particularly women, do really silly things like say they are 39, rather than 43. And eventually you have to tell the truth anyway, so why bother telling little lies?"

Another interesting area of research into online dating looks at profiling, and why some profiles attract more attention than others. A study called 'What makes you click?' by Gunter J Hitsch and Ali Horta of the University of Chicago, and Dan Ariely of MIT, looks at what sort of attributes, including physical features, income, education etc, contribute to a better or worse chance of someone responding to your profile.

An average-looking man has only a 40% chance of being emailed back by an averagelooking woman, compared to an averagelooking woman having a 70% chance of hearing back from an average-looking man.

And surprise surprise, very attractive-looking men and women are highly selective when choosing who to email, with only 14% of good-looking women replying to men whose looks are deemed un-attractive.

Other factors that affect men's success with online dating include level of education, with men who have completed a third-level education receiving 35% more first emails than men who have only complete secondary school.

The top four most desirable occupations for female online daters were legal professions, military, firemen and health professionals. On the other hand men seem to prefer women who are students rather than those involved in a profession.

But online daters are a fickle lot it seems, with the research revealing that those who describe themselves as having 'toned' bodies getting far more emails than those who describe themselves as voluptuous/portly.

Again, online daters fall back on the old stereotypes, with women largely seeking men who are taller than them, and vice versa.

And although women may protest that money doesn't matter these days, it most certainly does matter. Despite the fact that only 64% of men and 51% of women state their income, it's a big factor in successful online dating. In fact, income strongly affects the number of first emails men get from women, while it only marginally affects the number of first emails women get from men.

"It's a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife, " wrote Jane Austen in the opening page of Pride and Prejudice, and when it comes to online dating, it looks like little has changed.

TIPS FOR ONLINE DATING
>> Be honest about your age, interests and smoking habits
>> If someone takes the time to email you, make an effort to respond
>> Good manners go a long way toward attracting a response. ("I'm looking for a woman with half a brain if such a model exists" is not how to attract the ladies, 'Michammer', whoever you are! ! )
>> Don't go into too much personal detail about yourself . . .and no bad language or inappropriate humour
>> Don't give your address, phone number or workplace until you're sure of who you are communicating with
>> If you meet someone in person, tell a friend or family member where you are going and who you are meeting
>> Always meet somewhere public
>> Get their mobile number before meeting, in case of delays, etc
>> Don't be late if you meet someone, as this will only add to their anxiety . . . and it's bad manners