GREY men in grey suits. As a child of the '80s, the colour grey provides the template for my most abiding memories of party political broadcasts. The grey man would tell us how poor we were because the other grey man had foolishly wasted all of the money. The accused grey man would counter that he had spent the money wisely and promised that if we stuck with him, we wouldn't always be poor.
All this grey talk of poverty, unemployment and the impending doom that will come from voting for the other crowd was not only a switch-off; it was . . . no doubt intentionally . . . more than a little intimidating.
But now it is 2007 and before this election campaign began we heard countless rumours about spin masters hired by our political parties and arriving from far-flung shores with their bags of tricks. We were told that these viral marketing masterminds would woo the internet generation with their clever tools and work their eerie magic on the undecided voter.
Up until last week, however, we haven't seen much in the way of inspired political broadcasting. Green Party candidate Ciaran Cuffe has been cycling around Dublin with a camera on his head, it seems, to show us that weaving through backed up traffic is a tricky business.
Cuffe's YouTube video is mesmerising in a hallucinogenic type of way, but it is hardly a vote winner.
Then we have Fine Gael's party political broadcast.
When it first appeared on screen, I was convinced that I was asleep and dreaming of being 10 years old at home in Co Laois. I was allowed to stay up and watch the end of the nine o'clock news before Today Tonight started. The ad break between the two was dominated byf Enda Kenny? Surely not? I am awake and back in 2007, but nothing has changed. There sits the party leader, behind a desk, telling us it will be better with him in charge.
Cut to a clip of Enda's speech at the Fine Gael party conference. It's hardly inspiring stuff and difficult to believe that, in this age of clever-clogs marketing, the boffins can't do better.
Fianna Fail did its best to steer clear of the grey man style of broadcast to begin with. We were presented with a collection of people who are delighted about things such as being able to talk to the government through Irish and English. A fisherman said he has more money in his pocket because he pays less tax and an easy-to-please married couple said they were happy with the motorway between the North and the South, despite the fact that it's not finished yet. This odd bunch with their glowing words was accompanied by a dodgy tune pulled from the library soundtrack CD labelled Elevator-Style Muzak for Party Political Broadcasts.
It wasn't long before the lure of the men in suits proved too much for Fianna Fail. And because there were no men in suits in the first broadcast, it put loads of them in the second . . . Bertie Ahern, Tony Blair and Bill Clinton.
They all tell us that Bertie is a great fella. It's slick, but it's still no major departure from what we saw way back when a bag of Taytos was 10p.
But mid-week, all this changed when a broadcast arrived from the Greens.
There were no politicians. There were no grey men in grey suits. There were no couples holding babies talking about how lovely the roads are these days.
Instead, the Greens have created a masterpiece.
Their broadcast consists entirely of children, frustrated at their inability to vote and urging us to go to the polls with their future in mind. I spoke to the creator Nick Kelly, who told me that his aim was to create the link in the viewer's mind that how you vote really does have an impact. His message is that decisions made by those in power 10 years ago are what we are living with today.
And it seems, both he and the Greens have cracked it. The message gets through . . . what we do at the polls IS relevant. The decisions we make ARE important.
You may not agree with the politics of the Greens, but at least they know how to make a good film.
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