NEVER mind the Battle of the Boyne, last week was really all about the Battle of the White Teeth. And we won't find out who the winners are until polling day. . .
While their male counterparts may have been happy with a tightlipped smile or, indeed, the good auld Irish yellow-toothed look in their election posters (yes, Michael McDowell, we're looking at you), the female candidates all opted for dazzling smiles.
Whether they're looking to prove their implacable good nature or hoping to entice voters with their capable good looks, the fact is that this election has seen some of the most glamorised election posters amongst party candidates.
Last week was reserved for the party leaders; this week it's all about the strongest female contenders and the image they have put across to ensure the electorate give them their number-one vote on election day.
"Female candidates should be sure to go for a neutral look . . . nothing too trendy or colourful, " said celebrity make-up artist Lisa O'Connor. "They should also be looking for a good make-up job rather than having to rely on air-brushing that will just end up making them look unlike themselves."
As deputy leader of the Progressive Democrat's, Liz O'Donnell maintains a high profile both nationwide and in her constituency of Dublin South. But her election poster looks so unlike her normal self that an online campaign has been started in protest at her airbrushed image.
Wearing a simple white top and with her short fair hair brushed lightly off her face, O'Donnell is both casual and ready for action. But her normally fair skin has a distinct orange hue and is shiny in all the wrong places. Like Enda Kenny's poster, there is a slightly waxy look to the skin that just screams of airbrushing.
Her face is suspiciously linefree, her teeth are glowingly white and her eyes are that bit too steely blue. Where is the real Liz gone?
Fianna Fail councillor Mary Fitzpatrick is also sporting a set of white gnashers, but these are somewhat overshadowed by the incredible amount of make-up she is wearing. No airbrushing here . . . just a whole lot of foundation and blusher.
Fitzpatrick may be on Bertie's team but is she sharing his make-up artist as well? Fitzpatrick has taken over whole bus-stops in Dublin Central but there's one thing to be said for it . . . there's no chance anyone will forget who she is on election day.
Another up and coming election candidate is Fine Gael's Lucinda Creighton, whose face has become increasingly familiar in the last few months. So familiar that you can't go into a night-club loo cubicle of a Friday night without Creighton's face staring back at you. Even scarier are the ones where the colour has been deliberately distorted and Creighton looms from a red negative image.
Mary Lou McDonald's poster image is in line with the image she puts across of a hardworking candidate. Dressed in a no-nonsense beige suit, with her short hair behind her ears and very little make-up, she is striving to look ready for action but, in fact, succeeds in looking quite tired.
"I have seen a lot of candidates that have too much foundation on, and then others that have not enough blusher, " said O'Connor. "It's all about striking the right balance of looking good without looking too made-up. So there should be even foundation coverage, enough blusher to add shape to the face and some neutral eyeshadow to prevent the eyes looking small."
So there is something to be said for a bit of eyeliner to open up the eyes and it needn't be confined to the women. After all, Fine Gael's Paschal O'Donohue definitely looks like he's sporting some eye make-up in his poster and as a result he looks young and fresh enough to be making his confirmation.
Bless.
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