INSIDE IRISH RUGBY '07 RTE 1, Monday SPORT'S DIRTIEST SECRETS Channel 4, Monday and Tuesday

I CHECKED the ballot papers last week and Paul O'Connell's name was nowhere to be found. Surely some mistake. Because if anybody is going to lead this country anywhere, it should be him. Who wouldn't follow? If he stood on the Hill of Tara tomorrow and issued a call to arms, saying he was off to invade America, there'd be no need for conscription, we'd all just grab a pitchfork and a rowboat and tag along.

There was a fantastic scene in Reaching for Glory from halftime in Ireland's demolition of England at Croke Park.

With Ireland 20 points to the good, O'Connell was sat calmly in the dressing room, pointing out to his teammates, "There's none of us tired. I don't even feel like I've played yet. We shouldn't be worrying about England's purple patch, we should be looking to put up a score here lads. We can go bananas in the second half."

And so they did. If O'Connell had been sent to negotiate the treaty he'd have come back with 32 counties and a large chunk of Wales. Possibly between his teeth.

Obviously though none of this undermines in any way Brian O'Driscoll's role as captain, a large part of the reason for the team's recent successes is that they have a number of leaders. Admittedly when O'Driscoll swears during team talks it sounds like a posh kid sneaking in a naughty word (whereas it fits naturally into the cadence of O'Connell's speech) but he leads by setting standards, combining his once-in-a-generation talent with grit and determination.

And this programme was yet another reminder of why the public feel such an affinity with this team. From Denis Hickie claiming that you need to give the crowd something to cheer, through Ronan O'Gara's harsh words of self-criticism, to John Hayes in floods of tears during 'Amhran na bhFiann' . . .

they just seem to get it, and we in turn feel we get them. Best of all was after that heartstopping rendition O'Driscoll delivered a last-minute pep talk with a smile on his face.

Despite the pressures of history pounding down on the entire team, there was no place any of them would rather have been.

All this was brilliantly captured by Dave Berry and Nathan Nugent, who somehow keep living up to the lofty standards they set for themselves in The Dubs or the Final Word s series. They never seem to impinge on the subjects they are filming in training or the dressing room (presumably they creep around in camouflage, or disguised as gear bags) and the editing is superb, managing to be both rhythmic and poetic.

They're a gift to sports fans everywhere.

Channel 4 had the promisingly titled Sport's Dirtiest Secrets on over two nights, but the programme should be prosecuted under the Trade Descriptions' Act. What were some of the incredible secrets revealed? Well, apparently the Chicago Black Sox threw the World Series in 1919 (Say it ain't so, Joe! ), that nice Ben Johnson man was hopped-up on goof balls when he won in Seoul and, wait for it, drugs are rife in cycling. Unless you were recently woken from a cryogenic sleep there were no secrets on show here. A programme about cheats that cheats the viewer, there's an Alanis Morissette song in there somewhere.

Even if it had been more accurately titled, the programme still displayed an annoying lack of perspective or even a basic understanding of sport. After pointing out that Michael Schumacher was frequently less than sportsmanlike during his domination of Formula One, again hardly a groundbreaking revelation, Voiceover Guy said in portentous tones, "So, is Michael Schumacher someone who reached the top of his sport through dedication, hard work and talent, or someone willing to do anything and push the rules to the limit to be the best." Can't he be both?

Aren't most people or teams who scale the summit of their sport willing to push the rules to breaking point?

Despite having decades of sport to cherry pick from they still chose to make mountains out of non-existent molehills, not even Henry Cooper seemed to think there was foul play in his 1966 bout against the-then Cassius Clay. They also managed to get the name of one of the journalists who broke the Balco scandal wrong and Voiceover Guy repeatedly referred to EPO as "E-Poe".

How do you mispronounce an acronym?

Here's a secret. This programme was so dismally bad I broke the cardinal rule of reviewing TV and switched it off early. Still, I'm willing to bet they didn't find Shergar before the end. There are more important things to do in life, like getting an early start on canvassing for the next election. Vote O'Connell number one.