And so said Paris Hilton, through her lawyer Richard Hutton upon her release from prison on Thursday morning, after her psychiatrist Charles Sophy and her legal team managed to convince the county jail sheriff that Hilton was "emotionally distraught and traumatised". One would imagine that these are the general feelings that inmates experience a few days into their stretch, and are not actually reasons for early release. Then again, most don't come straight from the MTV Movie Awards.

At the time of writing, the Paris prison circus was still in full swing. By now she could've been locked up again, or partying in the lowly electronically-tagged house-arrest confines of her West Hollywood pad with the rest of her 'see you in court' buddies. The start of her 23-day sentence, which had been cut from 40, began in sad style. Hilton attended the MTV Movie Awards where she became teary when the host Sarah Silverman told the crowd that the prison officers were going to paint the bars like penises to make her feel more at home. "I just hope she doesn't break her teeth on those things, " Silverman quipped to roars of approval from the crowd. Upon entering County Jail, her every move was tracked by the insane and wonderful gossip website TMZ. com who informed their readers gleefully that they had "multiple sources" inside the prison walls. She was forced to endure a cavity search, but was spared of the humiliating shaving of her hair extensions, despite their being banned in jail for suicide-watch reasons. Hilton rapidly deteriorated. She complained of the cold in her cell (not 'so hot right now', after all), was forced to use one of her three blankets as a pillow, and even worse had to endure a screening of Troy.

She couldn't stomach the hotdogs served to her, nor the short-sleeved orange jump suit. Remarkably, the rest of the inmates were rather kind. They chanted 'Paris, Paris', when she re-entered her cell after the one hour a day she was allowed out. Others told her she "didn't deserve" to be there. One even slipped an origami butterfly made from the page of a magazine under her door.

But it quickly became apparent Paris wouldn't be there for long. On Thursday morning, she was removed from the jail, but not without opposition.

The prison sheriff announced to reporters that she was out under "medical advice". The LA City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo and the judge who heard her case, Michael Sauer, demanded that she be brought back to court on Friday morning. Even if you're Paris Hilton, you can't always get your way.

It does seem that the Hilton way of celebrity has far reaching consequences. Her 'friends' Mischa Barton (recent reported magic mushroom overdose, rushed to hospital), Lindsay Lohan (drink driving and cocaine possession charges pending), Britney Spears (public head-shaving and rehab-tastic breakdown) and Nicole Richie (drug driving, due in court soon) all act like she does, and even those outside of her inner circle impersonate her somewhat. For every 10 star-alike Paris Hiltons, there's a Beth Ditto who although getting cheesed off at being called an "obese squirreleating lesbian" saw fit to take the Paris-like move and pose naked on the cover of the NME last week (take that Dr Atkins, R.I.Pasta) But like it or not, Paris Hilton is important.

Although many may claim haughtily like Vincent Browne that they don't know who she is (no word yet on whether Paris Hilton knows who Vincent Browne is), she, as an iconic figure in the disposable, two parts cruel, one part sycophantic 21st century pop culture, represents everything that is horrid about celebrity today. Inevitably we want to see her get her comeuppance. If there was any child of privilege who deserves to be kicked when down, Paris with her shallow remarks, manipulative frenemies, and pornofied career built on a leaked sex tape, a friendship with the anorexic former heroin addicted Nicole Richie, and Greek shipping heir Vegas shagathons, asks for it the most. Now spread 'em.