Take this season's trends: smocks, leggings, wedges, oversized prints, baggy clothes. Because men are simple creatures and like to see women in all their femininine curvature, there is little in the shops at the moment that men actually 'get'. Smocks are 'pregnantlooking', wedges are 'clumpy, unsexy and awkward' and big prints are 'grannyish'.

Men will never understand why you wear a sexy mini-dress over your trousers ("Please can I just see your legs for once?"). Nor do they get cardigans ("Irish women would wear one over an Oscar dress"), fake tan ("It smells!") or Chloe Sevigny ("She's not pretty and looks like she got dressed in the dark").

So what trends would men like to see you in? Following a probably not very representative straw-poll amongst relatives, co-workers and friends this is what we've come up with. . .

Men like:

?? Florals and feminine dresses.

?? High heels, tight jeans, tight tshirts - Victoria Beckham was right all along!

?? 'The natural look' - preppy American slacks and white shirts with London trainers, parka and jeans.

?? Pencil skirts, blouses, trench coats - anything that makes you look like a spy.

?? Fitted clothes showing the female form - although too much leg/cleavage is fine on another man's partner but not their own.

Men don't like:

?? Polyester.

?? Tracksuits that expose knickers ("string knickers and thongs in particular").

?? Floppy hippy clothes and beady jewellery ?? Clumpy shoes: "Clod-hopper heels that make women tilt forward."