LIZ MARTIN vividly remembers the day she sat down to tell her young children that she was HIV positive.

"I was trying to explain to them that Mammy has a cold in her blood and sometimes she has to go to hospital.

And when she comes back, she's better, " she says. "I told them that all around the world there are doctors and scientists working on a cure to make people better."

Liz's daughter, who was just seven at the time, jumped off the chair, opened the fridge and took out her cough medicine. "She said, 'Mammy, years ago they didn't have this cough medicine to make me better and now they do and one day they're going to discover a medicine to make you better'. What she said was heartbreaking but was also so positive and so full of hope. The kids gave me great hope for the future."

Liz has now been living with HIV for 16 years. She contracted the virus through sexual contact with her then partner, who was a drug addict.

Despite the stigma that still surrounds HIV and Aids, Liz (40) has taken the brave step to go public with her story. She has written a book that will be launched on Irish Aids Day this Friday. It is the first time that an Irish person with HIV or Aids has stepped into the spotlight to tell their story.

Liz, who is from Dublin, has a grounded perspective on the impact that she will make by doing this. "Well, this is me, this is who I am, " she says. "I think it's important that people don't have to hide behind doors. I know there are people living with HIV who have family members that they can't tell.

"It's not about them having to go public with their stories but being able to talk about it in their own families and get the support that they need. I hope the book will raise awareness of HIV and the fact that you can live a healthy and happy lifestyle if you have it."

Liz's own family and her four children have been supportive of her but she has experienced prejudice from the wider community. On one occasion, a neighbour shouted at her daughter that she didn't want her own daughter to play with her because there was 'bad blood in the family'.

"I was in hospital one time and was given my own cutlery - my own knife and fork - even though it was known that HIV can't be spread that way. A nurse, who had worked in San Francisco, came in and said 'Hey, what's this?

This isn't happening on my ward' and stopped it from happening again.

"It's all about people's fear and not understanding what it's like to live with HIV. Education is the key - it's the only way we're going to get across the message; to talk about it and get it back into the media."

Liz grew up in a flat complex in Dublin's Liberties. She had dreams of becoming a social worker but when she was 16, she fell pregnant to her boyfriend Simon (not his real name).

"I think when I had the baby, the enormity of being so young and having a baby was just huge, " she says. "It hit me that I was going to have this baby forever and he was my responsibility. It was up to me to do what was best for him."

But Liz not only had to cope with becoming a new mother - she had to deal with Simon's violence towards her and his drug addiction.

"This was the early 1980s in Dublin and heroin was making a big impact on communities.

It took such a grip amongst young people. I thought my role was to help get my partner onto the right path and get him away from drugs. I wanted the person but I didn't want the person that was on drugs; this person he'd become."

The couple had another child together and, for a while, Simon managed to stay off drugs.

But his addiction always returned and he had to find ways to fund it. After a spell in prison, he received a letter informing him that he'd tested positive for the HIV virus. "We were both in denial about it. It was something that wasn't talked about at the time; it was a taboo subject. We'd only heard about it happening in America to gay men. The scenes that we saw on the television were of people in space suits and the high sensationalism about HIV. It was like it didn't happen in Ireland. We didn't recognise that there was a drug problem in Ireland and it was the same with HIV."

Simon's violence towards Liz continued and she decided to move to a women's refuge in Galway. She started a new life with three kids and another on the way. It wasn't always easy but Liz says they had happy times living in the countryside.

But she couldn't shake a feeling in the back of her mind that she could have HIV and that her children could also have contracted it.

She asked her doctor for a HIV test and it came back positive. "I was angry and I wanted to scream and rant, " she recalls. "I suppose it would been easy for me to say that I blamed my partner but I had to work through that myself. Otherwise, it would have been like a cancer that would have eaten away at me.

"I had to accept my responsibility for putting myself at risk and maybe the lives of my children as well. I had to reach into the depths of my soul to try and find acceptance that I was going to be able to live with this. I didn't want HIV to take over my life - I was still a mother and I was going to continue and live a happy life." Fortunately, all four children were found not to have the virus.

During her time in Galway, Liz made contact with an organisation called Aids West who offer advice and support. She became involved in Aids benefit events and gave educational talks. The family later moved back to Dublin and, in 2002, Liz started on combination therapy for her condition.

"At the time that I started treatment, I had left it very late. I wondered if it was possible to turn back the damage that had been done to my immune system. It was hard to take those steps and realise this was the time to start on treatment."

Around this time, Liz's ex-partner fell ill and passed away. "In the end, I forgave him - in the sense of all the violence and the things that he did. I had to let it go because I was never going to get on with my life if I kept holding onto the past."

Liz now works in the voluntary sector and is in good health. Her hope in writing the book is that it will increase awareness amongst the public and help other people with HIV.

"When I was diagnosed in 1991, there was nothing out there to tell me what it was going to be like. I would have loved to have read a book that explained what people go through."

And as for the book's title, Still Standing? "I feel it's about hope. Despite everything - the hardships, the sickness and the struggle - I am still standing."

'Still Standing: An Irishwoman's Story of HIV and Hope' is published by Aids West priced Euro10

HIV - THE FACTS
�� HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus and is the virus that can go on to cause Aids (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome)
�� The virus is passed on from an infected person through the transfer of body fluids such as blood, semen, vaginal fluids and breast milk. There are four main ways to contract HIV:
��Through unprotected sex with someone who has HIV
� Sharing needles or syringes that have been contaminated with blood from someone who has HIV
� From a HIV positive mother to her baby during pregnancy, delivery or breastfeeding
� Blood products. Transmission of HIV through blood transfusion is rare in industrialised countries as blood products are screened
�� There is no vaccine or cure for HIV or Aids although the hope is that there will be one day. Medical treatments have greatly improved the life span and quality of life of those living with the diseases
�� Research is being carried out on microbicides, which are specially formulated creams or gels that can be applied inside the vagina or rectum to protect against sexually transmitted infections, including HIV
�� The total number of HIV infections reported in Ireland up to the end of 2006 was 4,419. Up until the same period, a total of 909 cases of Aids were reported here. On average, one person tests HIV positive in Ireland every day
�� Figures show that heterosexual contact is the most common cause of HIV transmission in Ireland, followed by sharing of needles by intravenous drug users
�� Orla Nugent of Aids West says that since the late 1990s, people have become more complacent about the risks of contracting HIV and other STIs. "If you did a survey today and asked people about the consequences of unprotected sex, most people would think of pregnancy. Then they would mention STIs. HIV is the last thing that people think about." She says Irish society has a long way to go before HIV and Aids are de-stigmatised. "That's why it's so important that Liz has come forward to tell her story. We need to bring HIV back to the forefront of people's minds."

Aids West: tel 091 562213; www. aidswest. ie Dublin Aids Alliance: tel 01 8733799; www. dublinaidsalliance. com