Their first face-to-face encounter came just a few minutes before killing themselves.

Through the internet, these two young men had found a peer group encouraging them to take their own lives. Their story is, of course, an extreme case of the changes in society wrought by the internet. But for everyone . . .from six-year-olds logging on to doll sites, to young people keeping up with their friends online, to the darker extremes of bullying and online sex games and the dangerous liaisons of anorexia and suicide sites . . . the internet is changing the way we socialise today.

For young adults, internet socialising is gaining popularity at an unprecedented rate. And Irish users are leading the way.

"We are one of the leading countries . . . certainly in Europe if not in the world now . . . from the point of view of social networking, " says Jerome Morrissey, director of the National Centre for Technology in Education (NCTE). "We're leading the way in terms of proportion and we're also leading the way in terms of the hours spent using these sites. It has fundamentally changed the way young people communicate with each other."

A lot of it is the stuff of the teenager's everyday life with social networking sites providing the 21st century version of the letter or phone of the past. By sharing information about themselves on Bebo, MySpace and FaceBook, young people are getting instant feedback on every aspect of their personality. "You can imagine how attractive it must be for a young person who is finding their feet and their own personality, " says Morrissey.

"You're testing your ideas all the time among your peer group and that has to be very exciting."

Teenagers are building their own communities on these websites, away from the prying eyes of parents and teachers. A recent survey by the NCTE found that one third of them accessed these sites on a private computer in their bedrooms, isolated from the real-world community. They spend hours on these sites every day of the week, socialising in a virtual environment. But is this online social revolution changing how teenagers relate to each other?

"It has to be having a subtle effect, " says psychotherapist Aine Tubridy. "Some of [the networking sites] are great because they are interconnecting people. But I've had a couple of clients who have made friends on the internet and then when they met them it's a shock because the relationship hasn't built up in the usual way. They're familiar with the person's dreams and ideas and plans and thoughts but the physical reality in front of them is another kettle of fish."

As more and more teenagers opt to socialise in a virtual world, they can lose out on vital interpersonal and social skills.

Then, when confronted with a social situation in 'the real world' their discomfort can lead them to overuse drugs and alcohol in an effort to feel more at ease. "It is an addiction and it gives you a warped sense of reality, " says Tubridy. "Somebody who is drunk every time they go out socially doesn't get the full picture of what socialising is about. In the same way, someone who does all their socialising on the internet gets a distorted picture, too."

Morrissey disagrees with this negative opinion of internet socialising. "Can you think of all the time people in the past spent writing letters and composing them for hours on end, and being on telephones in the later generation? More recently, teenagers hung around bowling alleys and corners and you wonder how productive that kind of thing was, " he says. "I'd say the online [socialising] would be far superior. You're involved in literacy and in numeracy; you're in discussion; you're sharing ideas tested by others, honed and pared back. It's probably much more intellectually stimulating."

Young people are driving the technological advances of Web 2.0, sharing content and discussion with a huge online community. But unfortunately, not all advances are positive ones. Pro-suicide and proanorexia communities have become a target of criticism as people clamour for regulation of the most liberal of all media. The pro-anorexia sites are "full of a deranged type of thinking, " according to Aine Tubridy. "One of the great things about the net is that it connects people all over the world, like a family. But it's also making the anorexia family bigger. How do you regulate these kinds of things? It's like pornography: it's harmless enough but in the wrong hands it can be really deadly."

Websites like these connect young people who are suffering through the same problems and in many cases they encourage negative behaviour rather than prevent it. In Ireland, we have seen the effect of pro-suicide websites all too clearly in the last few weeks.

In Armagh, Bebo memorial sites were set up for three teenage boys who committed suicide within days of each other this month. Though they provide a place for friends and family to mourn, some believe they could glamourise the subject and inspire other copycat deaths. In the world of social networking where popularity is king, networkers do not see the grief of those affected by the death . . . only the public outpouring of emotion and devotion that follows online.

For many, their need for popularity will stop at nothing:

far from being social websites and a place to keep in touch with friends, many of these networks are often thinly veiled status symbols for young people in Ireland today. Networkers will accept people they have never even seen before as 'friends' in an effort to increase their profile status.

A recent survey of 374 teenagers conducted by the NCTE showed, for the first time, the way Irish teenagers use social networking sites. The results proved the vast difference between online and offline friendships. More than 75% of those surveyed had accepted people they had never met before as 'friends' on their homepages;

one-quarter had done this 'loads' of times. The old adage 'don't talk to strangers' doesn't seem to apply in the online world.

Despite all the warnings to the contrary, Irish teenagers don't see any problems with sharing personal information with someone they have never met before.

Over 80% disclose their full names on social networking sites, up from 28% in January 2006.

Worryingly, more than one in eight of those surveyed included their mobile phone number on their website.

The sheer amount of time spent on these websites can also affect the way teenagers now relate to others. Most spend at least an hour on social networking sites three or four days a week. "Skills are gained where people are and this is one step removed from people, " says Tubridy. "That is where selfesteem building happens. You have achievements or you act in a certain way and you get feedback from people and feel part of a group."

Addiction to the internet also isolates young people from their families. "A lot of kids miss out on the interpersonal thing in the home because they are on the internet so long. Kids can go years estranged from the sense of touch because they're not sitting on the couch downstairs with the family, looking at the television.

They're upstairs doing their thing on the net."

Grown used to the instantaneous and interactive communication of the internet, how will these young adults cope when they join the real world as a driving force in this country in 10 or 15 years? "I think probably society in general will have to change, " says Jerome Morrissey.

"People will have to speed up their response in the future.

"It mightn't be a bad thing if certain bureaucratic processes were speeded up a bit. It mightn't be the worst in the world. I do think it will lead to an expectation for quicker decision making and, above all, the mechanism for engagement. I think it has democratic implications that there will be a demand, which will be met by technology, for more engagement and more active participation in decision making.

I think the California model of the instant referendums mightn't be too far off."

Dangers in the 'virtual world'

LAST week's worldwide paedophile raid uncovered a more sinister way in which the anonymity of the internet is changing social norms, specifically as it relates to teenage experimentation.

Graham Conridge, a 60-year-old English music teacher, was jailed for posing as a teenage boy online and persuading underage girls to strip for him.

The girls were taking part in what they thought was a safe form of sexual experimentation with an online partner who they believed was their own age, taking off their clothes in front of a camera on their home computer.

As more and more teenagers bring their social lives to the internet, it was only a matter of time before the sexual experimentation of youth was brought online, too.

In the world of social networking, it is all too easy to take advantage of young people who are desperate to be popular but may not have the confidence to compete in real relationships.

And given the willingness of some people to reveal their names and addresses, the case demonstrates just how dangerous the 'virtual world' of online relationships can be when it collides with the 'real world'.

Web 2.0 children

THE age range of these social networking sites is getting younger and younger. Sites like www. barbiegirls. com and www. stardoll. com are aimed at girls as young as six. These sites allow kids to forego real-world toys in favour of the online version . . . they can create their own virtual dolls and interact with others the world over.

StarDoll provides an online shop where children can buy clothes and accessories for their dolls using StarDollars, which are either earned by playing games or bought using credit cards, PayPal and SMS.

Webkinz. com, the latest American craze, is a range of soft toys that each have their own virtual counterparts on the internet. Children can interact with others on the Webkinz website and must take care of their virtual pet and ensure that its health and happiness levels remain high. Many children don't bother playing with the real toy and just log on to the Webkinz site straight away.

Not only are children no longer playing outside . . . they're no longer playing, full stop. Health problems like obesity, and even osteoporosis, are growing from an increasingly sedentary lifestyle spent in front of the computer.