Chapter Two, Section 1.05.07 (c) (iii) The new Ballsbrige strategy is tailored to sustainable development within the context of the area's de"ning characteristics . . . the river, etc. That aside, it can in no way be said to be developer led! This time round we entered into intense consultations with those local people whose lives will be directly impacted by the execution of the new plan. In this regard, we must extend thanks to the Ballsbridge (Cayman) Local Heritage Investment Organisation (Plc), Dodder Equity Non-Residents' Association (Monaco) Inc and the PR reps for these groups.

Chapter 4, Section 2.07.111 (d) (ix) Subject to Chapter 17, Appendix 4, Section 19.101.277 (f) (xx), an absolute limit will be placed on building heights within the area of the plan. As it is strategically inappropriate and environmentally unsustainable to quantify this limit in numerical terms at this time, maximum building heights will be determined on the quality of future proposals, all the while taking account of the absolute limits contained within this paragraph.

Chapter 17, Appendix 4, Section 19.101.277 (f) (xx) No development will exceed the strict height limitations outlined in Chapter 4, Section 2.07.111 (d) (ix) except where the building is designed by some Scandinavian architect and includes dodgy claims that the tower element will be naturally ventilated, constructed exclusively of locally sourced slow-grown Canadian pine and approved of by the Irish Times in the kind of I-can't-believe-they've-never-heard-ofmochaccino! tone which suggests councillors who stand in the way of 'cool' development are cultural charlatans. Add 10 extra storeys.

Chapter 5, Section 41.227.1026 (r) (xivxc) All average-looking buildings in Ballsbridge built before 2000, inhabited by middleincome people who don't have political in"uence, will become 'listed' for historical importance. All planning applications for tiny extensions to these newly listed buildings will be turned down by An Bord Pleanala on grounds that the proposed kitchen extension has a criminally negative effect on the local environment.

Chapter 17, Section 106.417.4206 (p) (xxxivxx) An Taisce will be pressured into watering down objections to important developments such as that for the Jury's Hotel site.

Chapter 23, Section 511.322.4 (s) (xxxx) An Bord Pleanala will find grounds to approve future mega-density development on the Jury's Hotel site. To make it appear like they didn't arrive at their decision lightly, they'll attach 45 convoluted conditions to the approval which will have uninformed RTE hacks rushing to Donnybrook to repeat the terms 'damning', 'hard hitting' and 'controversial' over and over without saying what is so damning, hard-hitting or controversial about the decision (and neglecting to mention planning approvals for single-family houses in north Cork come with 45 conditions attached as a matter of routine).

Okay. I fess up. None of this is from the new Ballsbridge Area Plan. So, as we speak, senior local authority planners are feeling provoked into responding to my contemptuous assertions that local area plans are failing to achieve the 'strategically-sustainable, balanced, socially inclusive' outcomes that they so tediously claim and so predictably fail to deliver. I expect it will take minutes of my time next week finding examples to prove them wrong.

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