That you live in a country where there is "pay for play"? That only by spending X . . . on whatever sort of marketing services . . . can you get fair coverage for your company?

Publius has worked comms roles in several geographies. Never, not once, did an editor in a reputable media organisation fob us off to someone who tried to shake us down. (Then again, we never rang to say, "did you get the release" or try to pitch something that was essentially ad copy. ) So let's make something extremely clear: anyone who tells you that you have to buy access to an editor at a real newspaper is lying.

Not only that, but if you heed this lie, and spend money in the belief that this quid pro quo is the only way to get fair coverage, you will one day have to answer to your shareholders for spending their money in a way that's not only unethical, but ultimately wasteful, because it's patently unnecessary.

Oh, and anyone called 'editor' who dances the aforementioned Faustian Foxtrot . . . go kill yourself now, before you earn another epoch in Hell.

If you have an interesting story, we'll tell it. (Our number is 016314332. Our voicemail never closes. ) Such stories sell newspapers. They are the ONLY reason people read newspapers.

Anyone who tells you otherwise, ask them who they're coddin'. As they say around the poker table, if you're playing for half an hour and don't know who the patsy is. . . it's you.

Publius PS . . . As always, Publius remains available for purchase, or at least rent. Please send your bribe electronically to the email below.

Once bought, we do stay bought.

FACE UP TO REALITY

SOCIAL NETWORKING has gone respectable for grown-ups (or at least meeja types) in these islands, thanks to the mushrooming popularity of Facebook. If you're old enough to remember why you abandoned annoying and loud Yahoo for elegant and powerful Google, you are probably a candidate for the site that is threatening to overwhelm rivals MySpace and Bebo.

The Facebook explosion among grown-ups can be dated to a throwaway remark by Rupert Murdoch. When asked if he was concerned about readers deserting print titles for MySpace, he responded that he wasn't . . . he was worried about readers deserting for Facebook. Cue interest.

Facebook was talked up at the World Association of Newspaper conference in Capetown (our invite must have gotten lost), followed by a slight mania on the topic over at MediaGuardian.

The numbers bear it out. There are presently fewer users of Facebook but it's where the growth is. Comscore reports a 30% increase year-on-year in the number of unique visitors to Facebook, and though there are currently just 20,000 Irish users at last count, the numbers were growing by 4% a week.

Publius is not above joining in the odd bandwagon, so we've set up our own Facebook group.

DOW JONES' BLUE FLU

IT'S not every day you get Wall Street Journal reporters to act like the fundi crowd at an ICTU event, but reporting that the jewel of the $5bn Dow Jones crown looks set to be grasped by Rupert Murdoch proved too much last week. On Thursday many of them, in WSJ bureaux across the US, didn't show up for work until 2pm as a protest against the potential deal. One part of current draft agreements between Murdoch and the reigning Bancroft family includes higher healthcare premiums. No word on whether the staff all went to a special screening of Michael Moore's Sicko.

IT'S IN THE MAIL

COULD the rumours be true that the Irish Daily Mail's Ted Verity is to return to England? If true, will what insiders describe as a "regime change" to the rule of Sebastian Hamilton, described by some as "Paul Dacre's love child", mean that the female & feature but not Fianna Fail-friendly Mail will continue as is? Will its current stable of writers want to stay?

NEWSTALK SPREE

QUESTION of the week: How much will Newstalk spend to get the Irish Times' economics editor Marc Coleman and the venerable Vincent Browne to come across?

GREEN LEADS TO PRIMETIME

WHO knew that undressing your mother in public could lead to a career in advertising? Well, the lads behind Venom Films, which includes the people who produced the awardwinning 2004 documentary Undressing My Mother, went on to produce the highly regarded Green Party party political broadcast in the recent general election campaign.

After working on a few projects for clients including Robbie Williams, the lads from Venom have hung out a separate shingle for production of TV spots for the Irish market, appropriately named Antitode.

"The films opened up a few doors, " the annoyingly young Andrew Freedman told Publius last week. We hope our cheque's in the post.

TIPS, BRIBES & ABUSE all welcome at rdelevan@tribune. ie