TUESDAY evening, 9.30pm, John M Keating's, Mary Street. We've just been handed the menu. "Are you ready to order?" "Not yet thanks, can you give us a few minutes?" One minute later, another waitress, "Are you ready to order?" A firm but polite "Not yet, thanks." Another two minutes later, "Can I take your order?" Okay, not fun; either they want us out quick-fast or the waiting staff have been at the espresso machine again.
Aside from the poor service, a radio station warbled Harvey Norman rants and cheap chart music in the background. A chef walked by every now and then looking lost and a couple of times a trolley laden with dirty dishes trundled past. We felt as though we had arrived well after last orders, it wasn't yet ten o'clock. As a paying diner, you should never feel as though you are getting in the way of the staff 's desire to leave. We certainly did.
We'd been to Lorcan Roche's book launch in the Irish Writer's Centre where the great and good had come to shout "Good luck with the book!" and "It's even better than the bible!" After the launch, we were looking for somewhere nearby for dinner. The logical choice would have been Chapter One next door, but we felt like a stroll so I suggested Keating's. I have been a fan of this renovated church in the centre of one of the city's busiest shopping areas. It's hard to beat on a Sunday afternoon, poring over the papers or tuning in to the jazz band in the corner. I had yet to try the restaurant on the first floor and was expecting to like it.
Keating's is a sympathetic renovation of an 18th-century church and a welcome addition to the city. It is immense, with five different settings in one building. The north side of Dublin city has previously been described as a culinary desert. The description is true to a certain extent, but in recent years a plateful of decent dining spots have been a welcome glimmer of hope for 'de Norside'.
I am a 'Norsider', so I can call it that . . . call it geographical licence. Most notable of these new spots are: The Winding Stair, Enoteca Delle Langhi, the Epicurean Food Hall and the multitude of joints spanning the burgeoning Axis of Asia (that ever-increasing Parnell/Moore Street collection of Asian restaurants). I hoped John M Keating's would make the list too.
Our starters came out very soon after we relented to the badgering to order. A goat's cheese tartlet for KR and chicken liver and garlic pate for me. Both were reasonable if a little unexciting. Our mains followed almost immediately after our starters had been cleared. I expected that. I had pan-fried scallops, which tasted a little too sweet, with Champagne, walnut and pesto linguine. KR's baked darne of salmon was good but the creamed potato was way too adulterated. News Flash: Irish potatoes can be flavoursome and interesting without riddling them with other ingredients or seasoning them into submission. Most Irish chefs seem to be afraid to serve them without a gallon of cream, or basil, or pesto added. Leave them to do their own work . . . if the raw ingredient is good enough, then it shouldn't need too much dressing-up.
Once our mains had been cleared, the staff seemed to disappear. It was almost 20 minutes before we could find someone to give us a dessert menu. Eventually the lost chef from earlier wandered through the room again and I asked would it be possible to get one, he found an amiable waiter who happily shepherded us through the rest of the meal, but it was too little too late, the whole experience had been tarnished with dreadful service. Desserts were just okay, my sticky toffee pudding was a passable execution, but KR's white chocolate cheesecake was an after dinner bore.
The wine list was again, okay, (there's that word again:
'okay'). I think the menu, and Keatings as a whole, is suffering from 'let's play it safe' syndrome.
No overall description can do Keating's justice really. I think the menu is a too safe and the staff definitely need more training, I suggest a day locked in a small room with nothing but flip-charts and power point presentations on giving good service as a punishment. Aside from that, I found the most irritating thing about Keating's was the sense that it was not capitalising on its best features. A room this impressive needs spectacle, pizzazz and glamour, whether that's in the form of a resident singer or trapeze artists flying through the air, make it happen and I'm sure the punters will follow. The restaurant needs (and deserves) more than Harvey Norman to make it a destination with class.
TTHE BILL Goat's Cheese Tartlet 8.60 Chicken Liver Pate 7.40 Supreme of Salmon 17.60 Pan-fried Scallops 25.25 Sticky Toffee Pudding 5.55 White Chocolate Cheesecake 5.60 2 Espressos 5.00 Glass Chardonnay 5.75 Glass Pinot Grigio 5.50 TOTAL 86.25
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