Heaven help us.

A middle-class dinner party of twittering idiots . . . the bourgeoisie are always hateful, naive or doomed cardboard cutouts in these things . . . is interrupted by the killing of a young waiter, Alfie, who was cruising on nearby Clapham Common. Alfie was returning from a gay wedding where one of the grooms gave him his phone number and his wedding ring to persuade him to call. (Oh, you know what The Gays are like, we're only married five minutes and already hitting on the waiter. ) Terry, a psychopath, takes the ring, gets beaten up himself and is treated by a doctor who . . . you won't believe this . . .turns out to be the other groom!

What were the chances? One of the dinner-party guests, Julian, the married man, cruises a public toilet where he sees Robin, a gay man, who also attends the dinner party. I mean, really, what were the chances?

Julian's wife Marion asks questions like, "Have you got, what do they call it, a civil partner?" Would you like a Pringle? But she soon turns to cruising, which itself has its roots in secrecy, prejudice and criminalisation. "You wouldn't do that would you Robin? We accept you, now can't you behave like normal people?" The top-drawer cast included Rupert Graves (Robin), James Wilby (Julian) and Paul Nichols (Terry). Elyot's hyper-real stereotypes were possibly an aggressive ploy to make his point . . . that homophobic violence and bigotry has risen with the visibility of homosexuality. But he ran full circle around Clapham Common, reinforcing cliches, not examining them, and kicking the life out of any real drama in the process.

A Very British Sex Scandal, however, was a moving dramatisation with recollections from men who came of age in post-war Britain during the 1954 witchhunt and trial of 28-year-old Lord Montagu of Beaulieu and Peter Wildeblood, the diplomatic correspondent of the Daily Mail.

(You can download it for from www. channel4. com/4od. ) Around 1,000 men per year were jailed during the purge, more committed suicide. When asked if he was a homosexual, Wildeblood took a deep breath and replied, "Yes, " sealing his own fate, though he helped the 1955 Wolfenden Committee, which was set up to examine decriminalisation. The chief constable told the committee, "You never hear of any country with higher morals than this country, except perhaps Canada and Fiji." (Hee! Hee! ) The real Montagu, now a twice-married 80-year-old man, recalled, "We didn't foresee the reaction when we left court." Wildeblood and Montagu were greeted not by taunts, but by a slow ripple of applause, showing the tide of public opinion was turning. It wouldn't be ungracious to say that, 40 years on, it still is.

More gloop from RTE's archive, packaged as a series called Disaster. (Thank the Sacred Heart of Jesus that there was no '!' after that. ) Disaster: The Story Behind The Buttevant Train Crash was about the packed Dublin-Cork in 1980 that derailed at Buttevant in Cork, killing 18 people. Una Wolverson was on her way to the Fermoy Pitch & Putt Open.

"The year before I was after winning beautiful Waterford Crystal, " she said. She sat opposite an American soldier and, moments before the crash, took his picture. It made the front page of all the papers.

(Though she appeared to miss her subject. ) The Undertones' 'Here Comes The Summer' played as Noel Finnan, then 16, talked about riding the trains with packets of Marietta biscuits. The crash was a macabre subject for this jaunt down memory lane. Was this Five-Go-Rambling Jukebox TV or serious journalism? Who knows? Either way, I'm glad they didn't go anywhere near the Stardust.

Reviewed Clapham Junction Channel 4 A Very British Sex Scandal Channel 4 Disaster: The Story Behind The Buttevant Train Crash RTE One