THIS little boy was digging in his back garden and his neighbour looked over the wall and asked him why are you digging a hole. The little boy says, my goldfish is dead and the neighbour said, why are you digging such a big hole though. And the little boy said, cause he's inside your f**king cat.
Scotland have been digging a hole for themselves for the last couple of years. The borders have been voluntarily dispatched and the shameful Edinburgh saga has just been put to bed.
It has done enormous damage to Scottish rugby but we're not here to talk about that. What we need to talk about is the big hole that Irish rugby now has to try and dig itself out of.
If you pick a B 15 and play it against an A 15, particularly away from home, it is more than likely that you will end up losing that game. We knew that before the match started but there are a number of issues that we didn't quite realise before the match kicked off. Some of these can be revived. Some of them, though, are terminal. Some of them are inside Eddie O'Sullivan's control. Some of them are outside of his control. Shane Horgan twisting his knee badly in a warm-up is outside of his control but is no less calamitous than what happened out on the pitch yesterday afternoon.
Ireland have had a history of poor warm-up games prior to World Cups. I have played in three World Cups and some of the preparation matches that I was involved in would have suggested Ireland would never have got out of their group. So to say that Ireland won't perform in the pool stages and maybe go further is a little bit premature but Eddie really does have to go to work and he will also have to ask himself a question, why did he pick a B team?
His B team really out of necessity only have to dispose of Namibia and Georgia who are amateur sides and who will do well to lose by less than 60 points. Effectively, your focus is on your No 1 side and how they perform. It is absolutely vital as the coach has stated that they hit the ground running and are sharp and in Agame mode by the time they have their first serious match.
After yesterday's performance, they need a little bit more than remedial work to get themselves back on track.
One of the most disquieting aspects of this 'which way is the beach?' international was Ireland's defensive frailties. I'm sure Graham Steadman has had his fair share of time perfecting a system that worked well for most of last season but to see a pretty average Scottish side making serious inroads, admittedly off pretty good offload ball, and well timed clear-out ball, leaves a huge amount of concern. Scotland's midfield made shite of Ireland every time they took the ball forward.
Andy Henderson, the main journeyman, was coined to suit him. How could a player of such average ability manage to score a hat-trick against an Ireland side that prides itself on closing down space? His partner Rob Dewey is another Mickey Mouse centre, you'd wonder where Hewey and Lewey were. They always gainlined against an Irish midfield which was very much out of sorts defensively.
Scotland dominated defensively. They had done their homework on Ireland. If you dominate the tackle scene against Ireland, it takes an awful lot longer to get back into the game. They also dominated most of the driving mauls and amazingly managed to walk Ireland back pretty much at will off line-outs and off-ball that they just picked up off the ground and managed to re-energise into a maul. To see Ireland's fringe defence be as ineffectual as it was also gave rise for great concern when you consider what Argentina and France can do up the middle and round the side of the breakdown. If Ireland have spent the last five months beefing up their biceps, what good is it if they don't manage to knock runners backwards with their additional beef?
When Allister Hogg got over after three minutes, you reckoned it was a product of the usual 15-minute Murrayfield blitz and the fact that they managed to get over was purely down to testosterone. But it quickly became obvious that Ireland were completely out of sync offensively. Twenty minutes later, Henderson got his first try and the panic alarm went off. He took a simple feed from Blair and took a slight diagonal 10 yards from the line. It showed that O'Driscoll, who hasn't played since 17 March, was still a long way off where he needs to be. Ireland's captain wrapped the Scottish centre but he couldn't halt his momentum. Duffy, his partner, just stood there while a double tackle cried out to be made. As Henderson hit the posts with the ball, he had already legally scored a try.
Tony Spreadbury and the TMO didn't actually give it until they had seen him get over the line which was erroneous. But Duffy's inability to move quickly enough to stem his momentum was deadly. He's not a centre, he's an average full back and an average winger and he should not be brought to France. He exited in the 26th minute with a hip injury. Maybe that had something to do with it.
Isaac Bo Derek had a game commensurate with his ridiculous looking hair ringlets. He gave no direction to his back row whereas in direct contrast, Mike Blair set up Jason White, Ally Hogg and Simon Taylor for numerous line breaks close to the breakdown. I just can't see why Eoin Reddan didn't play this game and why he's not number two scrum half to Stringer. Paddy Wallace had an ineffectual game too whereas he ran with reasonable invention when he had the ball in his hand. His kicking was ineffectual. To be outplayed by Chris Patterson from a tactical kicking perspective is sad.
Scotland had 29 line-out put-ins which meant they kept the ball and went through the phases. Ireland just couldn't get it back from them and more importantly couldn't get a foothold into enemy territory. An example of this and how it manifested itself in the game, came in the 29th minute. O'Driscoll made a nice break, Brian Carney made further inroads and Ireland had reasonable ball going forward. Wallace took it standing and wellied an aimless kick to Rory Lamont. The Scottish full back took the ball without moving and under no pressure and no chasers to follow. He kicked it 65 yards down the field into touch. Ireland had lost their advantage and field position and this was a small microcosm of how their game in the first hour unfolded.
Some of Ireland's replacements came on and made a difference but they didn't have the self-confidence, discipline or belief to put Scotland away. This game was a waste of time. An absolute waste of time, for Ireland. The hard ground and sunshine of Bordeaux and Paris in September will be a completely different proposition to handle.
The secondary problem for O'Sullivan is personnel. He must pick experienced players who can play in a World Cup situation. That means he brings Gleeson, Heaslip and Quinlan and leaves Neil Best, Stephen Ferris and Mick O'Driscoll. Brian Carney gets in ahead of Bowe and Luke Fitzgerald or Robert Kearney take Gavin Duffy's position.
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