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ACCORDING to website Bloody Disgusting, the long-anticipated Jurassic Park 4 is to feature dinosaurs with machine guns. This is an interesting idea, the kind of pitch that could only emerge during an imaginary conversation between the likes of Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay after snorting the weight of a brontosaurus in cocaine. "What's scarier than a Tyranosaurus Rex? A T-Rex with a 50caliber M2 machine gun! Yeeee haww! ! !"
Apart from raising the rather delicate issue of opposable thumbs . . . and heck, arms too . . . one wonders what indeed is next. Might I suggest Speed's Jan de Bont remakes Titanic, but this time, as well as steering course for that giant ice rock, the crew also have to find and dispose of a giant bomb on board?
Or how about reimagining Jaws? I can see it now . . . Jaws escapes after years of genetic modification at the Porton Down research laboratories in England only now he emits the foot and mouth virus from his giant gob. He then torments swimmers on the coast of Cornwall. If that sounds too elaborate, how about we ask Peter Jackson to make King Kong 2, but this time as Kong struggles to stay on top of the Empire State Building, he has a nuclear device strapped to his head.
The possibilities are endless. . .
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YOU ARE HERE: 11 November 2007 / tribune.ie / 2007 / 08 / 19
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