A SCOTSMAN takes a huge jar of urine with him to a clinic and pays for a test. The results come back and the Doctor tells him that there is absolutely no sign of illness or disease. He is delighted and he immediately makes a phone call. "It's me Willie. Tell your Auntie Mary that there is nothing wrong with you, her, me, Grandpa and the dog" The Scotland game was a can of piss. The hosts not normally known for their generosity gifted their visitors a 30 minute window of opportunity by actually stopping playing. Ireland didn't have the wit to take advantage of it and perished in a sea of mediocrity. Ireland's shadow side, to nobody's surprise, demonstrated that there will be fallow times ahead when the fixtures in the current XV begin to fall of the conveyor belt.
The conditions salted away 60-70% of the reason for playing the game. Eddie O'Sullivan knew his squad months ago that took another 25-30% of the value of playing the game and losing Shane Horgan in the warmup made the whole thing a pointless exercise.
How did I know that Eddie had already decided about his composition? Well, none of the three prospective stand-in second rows were chosen to play. See ya!
By picking Quinlan on the bench as second row cover we knew what he was thinking - he always backs his hunches. Ferris had been picked a long time back. He didn't impress against the Pacific Islands. He did okay for 50 minutes in Argentina but he got wiped by Ally Hogg last Saturday. If the squad selection was based on form he would not have got in. He has another two years apprenticeship before he can stake a claim to the test side. Grounds to be brought? No really, yet he makes it. It was pre-determined.
Ireland's back-row panel is horribly lopsided. It became obvious when Denis Leamy injured his shoulder last Thursday. Who takes his place? We don't have someone that you would be happy with to play in the serious matches in the pool stages if Leamy gets injured. He will be fit to start the campaign but it leaves you nervous. Neil Best covered the open side last Thursday. He has not played well since the South African game last November and that's a long time.
The omission that could really hurt Ireland (aside from Humphreys) is the non-selection of Keith Gleeson. He would not have been a first choice pick as Wallace owns the number seven jersey at the moment. He is a force of nature and is in his mature prime.
Eddie rarely changes his mind on how he sees the team playing and the Rugby World Cup is going to be a boshing shop.
Wallace will be a point of attack. D'Arcy and O'Driscoll will work off his initiatives, that's the way the game is. Gleeson uses D'Arcy and O'Driscoll as a point of attack and works off them intelligently supporting and providing lubrication for the play to continue even though tackles have been made.
You look at the great sides over the years, particularly the ones that won World Cups, and they all had brilliant number sevens, stand-out players. Michael Jones in '87, Simon Poidevia in '91, Ruben Kruger in '95, George Smith in '99 and Neil Back in '03. In 2007 Ritchie McCaw will be the guy who makes the difference. If Wallace's ankle injury continues or worsens, Stephen Ferris, Neil Best or an ageing second row cover in Alan Quinlan just don't have the same ammunition that Keith Gleeson does. Three specialist hookers, three specialist scrum-halves, all replaceable if they get injured, but no specialist open-side? You got it wrong, Eddie. I hope that injuries don't catch you out but at the current rate of attrition your gambler's omission might just flick you back in the town halls.
O'Driscoll's injury was predictable. Anyone who has ever played in the south of France will know that you'll not go through 80 minutes without getting a good kicking or a well dispatched slap or an act of maliciousness which will leave you less well off than when you started the match. The idea of lining up your test side and offering them to a rough-house first division French side playing at home and let them have a free pop at a team that is in the same pool as the World Cup hosts is illconceived. That is what the Wednesday side is for. What were they thinking? Sure, the French and Argentine games will have an element of barbarity in them but it won't descend into a Temple Bar brawl.
The reason why Lions teams don't play in places like Whangerei any more is because some of the banjo players really like maiming some of the fancy dan's key players. They get their name in the papers, a tough guy image and it helps the national cause.
It's quite simple really . . . the local rugby officials go down to the psycho shop "Have you played rugby before?"
"Nope."
"Can you kick or pass a ball?"
"Nope."
"What are you in here for?"
"I'm an axe murderer."
"Would you be upset if you cleaved an opponent and the ref gave you a yellow or red card?"
"What's a red card?"
"Or a six-week ban?"
"Badge of honour mate."
"OK get the out-half, he's the guy wearing number 10."
Bernard Lapasset can hold an inquiry if he likes, what went on in Bayonne was always going to happen. In my opinion Wayne Barnes is a weak and inexperienced ref, all the invitation that the French needed to crank up the nasty stuff.
Denis Hickie said that when the punch that broke O'Driscoll's sinus came, it came from the side. O'Driscoll wasn't even facing his attacker. His alleged assailant Mikaera Tewhata . . . sounds like Chewbacca from Star Wars . . . isn't even going to be cited. It shows the inequities of the citing procedures. He will get away scot-free because Eddie doesn't want any of his squad to be cited for spite.
Just who has jurisdiction over a pre-season friendly and what sanction they can impose is a moot point and because of that the French knew they could do as they liked.
As for O'Driscoll, if we are being told the truth then he will be ok. At 10.30pm on Thursday Ireland's World Cup was over. Whatever about O'Driscoll's undoubted quality as a player and his value to the side are unquestioned, but it is his captaincy which would be more sorely missed. Take a look at his win-lose ratio as a captain.
When Tony Copsey biffed me a while ago the x-ray didn't show up a break but a scan did much later on. It was quite painful but I finished the match and played two weeks later against England. Rest will get him there.
Shane Horgan's injury was equally depressing. It's a four-week rehab. Everyone is quick to say he is a 'good healer' as when he tore his cartilage against Gloucester in January he made a 'miraculous' recovery. I would suggest that he could have damaged or disturbed the same medial ligament in that game. I don't like the notion of high speed around-the-clock rehabs. Maybe the quick turnaround militated against a complete recovery. He will be rushed back again as the stakes are high - a World Cup. I hope he gets away with it.
Now that O'Driscoll and Horgan are temporarily gone it brings to light the stark reality that Gavin Duffy is playing in the centre for Ireland. Andrew Trimble did not impress there in Argentina. If D'Arcy gets injured put the kettle on, it will be a long session of the decades of the rosary.
|