It is little short of revolting to know that government ministers and the institutions of our so-called civilised state have rained down such a harsh fate on a vulnerable little boy . . . and in our name. But rules is rules.

Rules is rules, as a Sikh IT professional living here found out too. Socially responsible and prepared to donate time for the betterment of his local community, he volunteered to join the police reserve.

As a Sikh, he wears a turban to control his long hair. The garda commissioner Noel Conroy says he can't join the reserve unless he wears the cap of the new uniform . . . this in the name of "integration". Conor Lenihan as the new minster for "integration" has supported his decision. "People who come here must understand our way of doing things, " he stated.

All in all it was quite a week for those who argue that showing respect to difference and compassion to the weak outsider in some way undermines our Irishness and represents an onslaught on our way of life.

The cases of Great Agbonlahor and the Sikh man denied an integral role in Irish life demonstrate again why a debate on what we really mean by integration is so urgent.

Brian and Conor Lenihan, the two brothers who happen to be government ministers at the centre of this issue, have this week shown us what, in practical terms, this government stands for. And the message clearly being articulated is that "integration" means: come on in, you're welcome . . . if your papers are correctly stamped . . . as long as you assimilate and accept "our" way. And if "we" object to any request for "your" difference to be recognised on the grounds of principle or religion, that's not racist or unfair . . . it's just "you" won't integrate with "us".

This kind of policy might just hold a grain of credibility if Ireland were a French-style, ruthlessly secular state to which all religions bow equally to the principles of liberty, equality and fraternity. But, of course, this country is not like that.

The influence of the Catholic church may be changing and its right to impose its ethos more limited by law, but the vast majority of the institutions of this state, schools and hospitals and health services are run by religious institutions which are for the most part Catholic. Our constitution is rooted in Christian doctrine and it is only recently that Catholic sexual morality has been removed from legislation regarding contraception and homosexuality.

That's our historical legacy. But this in itself makes it all the more necessary that difference is respected and all ethnic and national groups are accorded equal status as our society grows ever more diverse. It's up to the institutions of our state to embrace all those who live in Ireland in an inclusive and respectful way, not to turn them away in the name of "integration". Turban-wearing policemen in multicultural societies such as Britain, Canada and India have not undermined the national integrity of the force in those countries, nor will they in ours.

Young Great Agbonlahor may not, through the letter of the law, have had a right to stay here. But our inability to show this decent family and their vulnerable child compassion undermines what it should mean to be "Irish".