CELEBRITIES live in an accelerated world compared to the rest of us. They've married, procreated, been through rehab and written two autobiographies by the time most of us have decided on our Leaving Cert subjects. As comedian Sarah Silverman caustically commented after Britney Spears' lacklustre performance at the MTV Music Awards, "Wow. She is amazing. She is 25 years old and she's already accomplished everything she's going to accomplish in her life. It's mindblowing."
Peaking that bit too early is a condition that afflicts celebrities from a tender age. It's like they were thinking, 'Maybe one day I'll be thanking God and my agent as I collect my Oscar. But that's, like, years away, so I'm going to get naked, take some snaps and put them on the interweb.'
The latest casualty of this short-sightedness is Vanessa Hudgens, 18-yearold star of Disney's High School Musical 2, naked pictures of whom surfaced on the net last week. "This was a photo which was taken privately, " her rep said. "It is a personal matter and it is unfortunate that this has become public." Particularly unfortunate if she loses the gig with Disney. But the question is, will it really hold her back? Hudgen's handling of the affair has earned her respect and, indeed, she might take solace in the fact scandalous photos no longer mean career death.
Jessica Biel posed topless at 17 to counteract her angelic image on twee TV show Seventh Heaven . . . it worked. Vanessa Williams may have lost her 1984 Ms US title when Penthouse published some salacious pics but it didn't hold her back . . . she now has a starring role in Ugly Betty.
Kate Moss recovered from famously falling victim to a rogue camera phoner and the Paris Hilton sex tape is now a distant memory surpassed by her prison stint. And when pictures of Lindsay Lohan and Vanessa Minnillo pretending to self-harm emerged, everyone just thought, 'There goes crazy Lindsay again.'
Ultimately, it comes down to whether the public really like you or not.
Heather Mills posing for sex manuals in the 1980s could have been dismissed as youthful folly but, because she's universally disliked, her feelings weren't spared in the least.
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