WHEN you work at odd times, as I do, you see things that perhaps you shouldn't. The Santa Claus-like mystery surrounding the milkman is cruelly exposed as you greet him at 5am. Early risers become accustomed to the phenomenon of urban foxes foraging for food under cover of darkness. And as you make your way to start your day, you really don't need to witness an enthusiastic drunk holding on to the last precious minutes of a raucous night out by wearing a traffic cone and holding court on an empty city street.
But starting work early can also mean that you get home early. When everyone else is clock-watching for lunchtime to roll around, the early starters are marking the end of their working day. Getting home at this time can be dangerous, though; more dangerous than milkmen, foxes and the odd drunk is the ever-present lure of daytime television.
On occasion, I have succumbed to the temptation of Oprah, from whom I recently learned that people who have their stomachs stapled to counter obesity are believed to be more likely to become alcoholics (and to cry about it on set with the queen of self-help TV). But all members of the daytime television audience know the most cynical of all shows on the box before prime time is The Jeremy Kyle Show. The good news is that, this week, the rest of the world found out about daytime telly's dirty little secret.
Jeremy Kyle is a former radio host who now fronts this ITV show which aims to find guests who don't know who their parents are, or who suspect their partners are sleeping with everyone in town. The guests then come on to confront their adversary and Jeremy and his team will helpfully organise DNA tests, lie-detector tests . . . whatever it takes to get to the allimportant truth.
This week, however, events on the show resulted in a court case. A man whose wife was sleeping with his former friend headbutted his love rival on the show and ended up in court. The judge accused the producers of "human bear baiting" and said they should be in the dock along with the man who committed the assault. He went on to say the "purpose of this show is to effect a morbid and depressing display of dysfunctional people whose lives are in turmoil".
It all started with Jerry Springer, who had all sorts of freaks venting their spleens on American television. And if getting it off your chest meant making a running lunge at your 'enemy', or swearing at the audience, or taking your clothes off, Jerry was all too happy to facilitate your unburdening.
It was easy to watch The Jerry Springer Show and laugh heartily at the participants, safe in the knowledge that this type of thing would never reach our shores. For a time, I thought they all must be actors. But now The Jeremy Kyle Show has made its presence felt in the halls of justice, a different truth has emerged.
The people who sign up for these programmes are vulnerable. The programme producers want them to be as dysfunctional as possible. They want the DNA test to say the husband is not the baby's father. They want the woman who promised her children she was clean to fail her drugs test.
And it's quite possible they want the wronged partner to headbutt his wife's lover.
And while most people would never contemplate appearing on such a programme, we are quite happy to tolerate and, dare I say, enjoy the humiliation of others. But where does entertainment end and abuse begin?
As the judge said, some of these people have limited intellects and are purely and simply exploited, for the sake of a silly television programme.
Perhaps we should take note of the outrage he expressed at the notion of coaxing people to bare all for the titillation of others. And maybe all of us who watch this nonsense on the box are as guilty as the people who make it.
Claire Byrne co-presents 'The Breakfast Show' on Newstalk 106-108 with Ger Gilroy
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