Sadly, it looked great but gave off little heat.

The room was cold and the radiators weren't radiating, at least the one beside us wasn't.

The name Leys Brazeel didn't make much sense to me and the staff didn't know much about its etymology either. Eventually I discovered it was the name given to a 50-acre townland in the area hundreds of years ago.

Is there anything the Google gods don't know?

The restaurant is difficult to find in the hotel as there is no sign outside. Like us, you may have to go through the bar or any of the other sections of the hotel asking where 'Leys Brazeel' is . . . even the staff looked confused by the mention of the name . . . but eventually we found it.

I was joined by DC, who, aside from being a director of a high-profile PR firm (U2 are among its clients), is a non-dairy advocate.

There have been studies done on the links between a diet high in animal fats and dairy products and breast cancer. The example most commonly cited is China, where dairy products are relatively non-existent in the typical diet. The instance of breast cancer there is a fraction of that in the west, where dairy products are a main part of many women's diets. So she may be on to something, but I'm sure the Dairy Board with their 'threea-day' message would tell us differently.

Both of the waiters on this evening were Hungarian; DC speaks Hungarian so service was seemless, apart from the "bad news" . . . the scallops were off the menu. The chicken livers were off the menu. The beef lasagne was off the menu and there was no fish of the day either. All our choices were "off the menu". So we had to choose alternatives.

DC's marinated tiger prawns with baby gem and mango salad came out at the same time as my warm peach and red pepper salad.

My dish did not work. It consisted of two peach halves stuffed with a red pepper and goat's cheese melange. I like mozzarella and grilled peach but goat's cheese was too strong a flavour for this dish . . . and it didn't score too highly for presentation. DC's tiger prawns weren't a huge success either: the mango salsa seemed to be on strike as the only flavours coming through were prawn and garlic. The baby gem lettuce could have been braised too, to take the chill out of the dish.

Bar a couple who were also complaining incessantly about the cold, we were the only two people in the restaurant. I'm sure Leys Brazeel is a better experience when the restaurant is buzzing . . . as I say, it's hard to avoid feeling the festive cheer in a gold and crimson dining room.

DC ordered the wine and chose a Masi Pinot Grigio, which tickled the tonsils well enough. Feeling unloved after our starters we hoped our mains were going to be better.

The non-Dairy Queen's medallions of beef fillet with a caramelised onion cream didn't quite do it. The beef was ordered medium, but was closer to well done. It didn't taste seasoned and the caramelised onions did little to alleviate the apathy on the plate. My chicken Valdostana was not much better, what seemed interesting on the menu . . . "chicken stuffed with Parma ham, feta cheese and fresh basil leaves with a parmesan batter" . . . was pretty dull. "Parmesan batter", for me, elicits thoughts of, well, batter. This was more of a miserably thin-coated chicken breast and the Parma ham was fairly lacking in presence too.

Our Hungarian waiters were refreshingly friendly though. Tibor dreams of setting up a sweet factory . . . "Because Irish people like sweets."

It's true, we do. Moving on to sweets, Tibor listed the choices. DC picked the creme brulee and I went for the Orange 'Pufuhhh' "Sorry, what is it?" "Orange Pufuhhh. . ." "Okay, I'll have that." The creme brulee was a poor man's version.

No vanilla seeds and a poor crisp covering. Again we were disappointed. My orange thing was a custardy concoction which went down rather well . . . but why served it in a martini glass?

I don't think Leys Brazeel should have cost nearly as much as it did and for the second week in a row I've sat in a cold dining room for the duration of a meal. Thankfully, the staff were warm enough to prevent the whole thing turning frosty but I don't think I'd go back.

Leys Brazeel Kettle's Country House Hotel Lispopple, Swords, Co Dublin Tel: 01 813 8511