The faithful, those from other tribes and agnostics alike stand in unison. Enda Kenny and Eamon Gilmore then pose questions. Bertie Ahern responds.

"Answer the question, " Gilmore shouts. We've been here before with the man from Drumcondra.

English is not his first language. But he has a decent understanding of evasion.

By late morning on Wednesday, the Taoiseach's Dail week is concluded. He can run the country, and also attend official openings. It was a legal firm's new offices at teatime on Thursday.

When he's gone, they'll say: 'We'll never see his like again.' Perhaps. But back to the Dail. The national parliament has met on 21 occasions since the general election . . . 12 of those days since the summer recess concluded at the end of September. Seventeen bills are currently before the Oireachtas.

But there is apparently no urgency to have this legislation passed into law. The criminal justice (No 2) bill received two hours debate last Tuesday evening. No legislation was on the Dail agenda on Wednesday. The criminal justice (trafficking) bill and charities bill were given four hours between them on Thursday. In the last five weeks, we've had motions on Shannon airport and the pre-budget outlook. We've had statements on tackling crime, Oireachtas committees, the new EU treaty and the recent EU council meeting in Lisbon. And there was also that confidence motion in the Taoiseach.

The joke in opposition circles is that if they asked for a debate on the rules governing tiddly-winks competitions, the government would readily agree. Anything to fill time. And while the Dail works at half-time pace, the public are left waiting for legislation in important areas, including a new adoption authority, a DNA database and a new transport authority for Dublin. Changes to the law on the sale and consumption of alcohol won't be published until the middle of next year so the Dail might debate them by 2009. Seventeen new bills are expected to be published in the next few months. Another 63 pieces of legislation are currently being worked upon by officials in various government departments. "Direct, we beseech thee, O government, please do some work in the people's interest, some time soon. Amen."

Jobs for (almost all) the boys

THE great committee giveaway was finally announced last week. A paid job for everyone in the Fianna Fail parliamentary party, except if your name is Ned O'Keeffe or Jim McDaid. Enda Kenny again disappointed many of his young guns in opting to reward those dropped from his frontbench earlier this month. Still, Fine Gael got a good deal on the committees which, in reverse, was another bad week for Tom Kitt. The government chief whip already had a narrow escape in a Dail vote. Now he'll be known as the man who was mauled by mildmannered and inoffensive Dan Neville. With FG whip Paul Keogh on honeymoon, Neville was negotiating on the committees. With no progress on Fine Gael demands for more committee chairperson positions, Neville warned Kitt that Fine Gael would end the pairing arrangement. This cosy little deal allows an equal number of TDs from Fine Gael and the government parties to miss Dail votes each week. Total disorder was promised. Kitt flapped about. But then the Taoiseach's fixer, Gerry Hickey, arrived and a deal was done. In return, Hickey can look forward to a 15% pay increase bringing his salary to 270,000.

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FINIAN McGrath (left) might as well have made a paper airplane and thrust it across the Dail chamber. McGrath was obviously distracted by the quality of the debate when he decided to attract the attention of journalists sitting in front of him in the press gallery. 'Cuba' he first mouthed. Not happy that his message had made it across the chamber, he furiously waved a copy of that day's Dail questions. On the back of the paper was written the number '197'. Now there are easier ways to get publicity, but it is odd that McGrath felt it necessary to ask a parliamentary question (number 197) to interest reporters about Ireland's relations with Castro's regime.

McGrath is one of those Dail deputies elected in the recent general election formerly known as 'Independent TDs'. Now they sport 'I'm backing Bertie' badges. McGrath has a secret deal with Ahern. He gets favours for his Dublin North Central constituency. And Ahern, in return, receives Dail support and a silence of sorts. In the last Dail, McGrath sat alongside Joe Higgins and Tony Gregory. He jeered Ahern and Harney for their policy preferences in health, economy and international relations. Higgins is now gone and Gregory . . . silenced by Dail rules . . . rarely comes into the chamber. As for Finian, he's a bought man smiling like the cat that got cream. So if he's so worried about Cuba, he'd be better off strolling over to Government Buildings for a chat with Ahern and his officials.