Some bloke I don't know goes:

"Wots most tries u eva scord in a mach? ! Dis d guy who went 2 hound of a mates debs lst wk. Scord 3 of her frends!"

You sick, twisted, mirror of me. Two is my record. Who got to keep the orchid?

Dude called Terry goes, "4 get d toilets in d stephens grn shop cntr, wot about d ones in pears st dart station. Dat blue light makes if v diffclt 2 "nd a vein. Do any other intravenous hard drug users have a similar problm?"

Answers on the inside of the door of traps one or two.

The Bid Ed is like, "NE chanc of a pic of Kirsten Dunst? Shes a big ride, so she is." The additional information came in useful, Big Ed. Here you go.

Some other goy goes, "2 wimin frm Brazil + Zimbabwe have been "ned 150 for "running-a-brothel" in Athlone. That's only haf-anhrs wages for focks-sake!"

Have these cops nothing better to do?

Text 087-6564586 ross@tribune. ie