Heat Can we take anymore shocking news?

It's a tough old world. Every day the news seems to get worse and worse what with war and pestilence and plagues of frogs or whatever.

Now comes the worst news of all. Chris Martin is going bald.

Don't jump off tall buildings.

It's just something you'll have to deal with. Chris admits he's losing his hair at an alarming rate at just 27 years of age.

"We're under an immense amount of pressure in the studio, " he says, "but we're one receded inch of hair from "nishing. When my hair's gone back another inch, we'll have "nished the album." At least, as Heat says, he hasn't gone for a comb over.

New!

Britney had a fake wedding.

And that's faux sure.

Twice in a year. Enough already. Britney's latest wedding, this time to Kevin Federline, was a fake according to most of the gossip mags, including New!

Fair enough, the bride and groom weren't dressed up for the occasion. But they did all the rest more or less the way we expect people to. Stag and hen parties. Lots of guests, a reception (even if it was Southern Fried Chicken), presents and a honeymoon.

But now there's evidence that the couple agreed to take part in a "faux" wedding. Indeed, someone has found a legal document saying exactly that.

So were we taken faux a ride?

Esquire Pompous, whining, self-indulgent.

And that's just the drummer.

Esquire rates the 168 (? ) most overrated and underrated things in music. The above verdict is on Pink Floyd. REM gets this: "Think rock'n'roll is all about peace, ecology and vegetarianism." Meanwhile, ELO is described thus:

"Spacey, racey, progressive and - this was the clever bit - tuneful." How uncool is that?

Elvis doesn't escape:

"Overrated, overbloated and never over here." And while "Stairway to Heaven" is "not even kitsch last time we checked" "Freebird" is "extravaganza of Southern boofle twiddling that, even at 10 plus minutes, just isn't long enough."

Hello!

Lisa B has really fallen on his feet.

She was a model. And then she was a singer. And now she is an actress. But mostly, Lisa B (the "b" is for Barbuscia) is a wife. And she can keep the "b". Because she married a man called Anton Bilton. Reasonably nice looking chap, Anton. Could be a perfect gent for all we know. Probably is. But what's really nice about him, is that he owns Tyringham Hall in Buckinghamshire. Lisa thinks it's too big - they had 70 guests one weekend - and they should downsize. "I'd want to downsize as it's more than one wants to handle."

One. Nice. It's far from "one" she was raised.

Woman's Way Tis Herself that's come home to the land she loves so well Maureen O'Hara has been quiet for a few years, but she certainly gained some new fans during her recent visit to Ireland. Whether she's talking about her love of Shamrock Rovers or her fondness for west Cork, the 84-year-old Dub has never lost her passion for home. In Woman's Way, she tells the story of applying for US citizenship. After personally intervening in her hearing to tell the judge that she is not British, Maureen then threatened not to accept citizenship if it meant renouncing her Irishness.

Good woman Maureen - once a Hoop, always a Hoop.

Rolling Stone Capturing the beautiful people for the world to see Photographs of musicians can quickly turn into iconic images. Rolling Stone have compiled the 50 greatest portraits of rock stars and the stories behind them.

From David Bailey's pictures of Lennon and McCartney ("John seemed cooler than Paul") to Joel Brodsky's famous Jim Morrison Christ-like pose ("He had a quart of booze in him, drinking different things from different bottlesf it could have been his way of keeping his balance"), the list covers all the beautiful people of rock. Jimmy Nail must have missed out.