Some bloke or bird goes, "Public loos in shppng cntrs shud b clened bit mor than 1nce-a-yr. Like the 1 im using rite now. Mon-dieu! Mind-you, it's beter than mine @ home!"

Yeah and on that subject, is there any chance that some of the 20 Cs they charge you to drain the lizard in the Stephen's Green Shopping Centre could be spent on a couple of focking air fresheners for the place? The pen in there is Padraig. . .

Some dude goes, "Slipd on a luas track, stitches, fractured wrist, popped knee cap. Usually have a decent sports story to tell girls for sympathy. Can you think up one?" I snotted myself off a barstool once and told a bird I did it scoring a 50m try in the Ireland trial. I was like, "Looks like Eddie's going to go with Drico for the Six Nations now.". . .

Choco from Killiney goes, "That helen leonard's no stunner. Thats a body double rte use. Shes actually 16 stone!" Hey, you're just trying to frighten us other leches off. . .

Dude called Mark goes, "Lst wk i was on the fockin north side when i saw this big fock off building. Must hav ben the embassy 4 the south side." You should have asked for the consul. He'd had given you a police escort home. . .

Someone goes, "D u have a pension plan? How much shud i b paying a wk? I haven't got 1 + am hoping retirement is extended to 75 by time im 60/65! SLitly-woride." Can't help you. Don't have a pension plan. Have a rich old man. . .

Some other (presumably) goy is there, "Legally Blonde . . . worth buying on dvd? And what about the sequel to it and/or Sweet Home Alabama?" I can personally vouch for all three. Reese Witherspoon at her lovably ditsy best. Word of warning. Watching all three backto-back can cause blindness. . .

Some other goy gives it, "Goin2 a debs dis wk. The birds a bit of a hound if truth b told. Will she freak if I cop off wit her mate(s)?" Two answers to that. One . . . yes.

Two . . . who cares?