IF it wasn't for the bump, Jordan could be mistaken for a drag queen because apart from drag, there is no good reason for a woman to apply white and blue eyeshadow in quite that manner. However, as her baby is having the gestation period of an elephant, it could well be hormonal.

Either that or she's been playing with her Barbie make-up kit.

The model mum and her beloved, flop-pop-star Peter Andre, were doing what they do best last week and posing for photographs at the premiere ofHouse of Wa x .

Doubtless, a stream of celebrity magazines have been jostling for the first snaps of Jordan junior.

Their little bundle of joy is set to line the coffers of the talentless twosome for at least the next 12 months seeing as both their careers have taken a nose-dive since their appearances on I'm-aCelebrity-please-keep-me-inhere-long-enough-towarrant-a-biography".

The happy couple revealed to the eager crowd that they are expecting a boy next month . . . interested parties will most likely be able to witness the event for themselves via the webcam installed in the delivery room. Failing that, you should be able to watch the fly-on-the-wall documentary. Can't wait.