BeyoncÉ Knowles may be riding high in the charts around the world with 'If I Were A Boy', but back home, it's the Gift Grub team who are getting an epic response to its version of the number one hit. 'If I Wasn't Roy' has earned Today FM the biggest reaction to one of its interpretive pop songs since 'Dry Your Eyes Becks' and 'Jose Mourinho & His Amazing Technicolour Overcoat'.
The track was broadcast on Thursday, and received a massive reaction from listeners. Speaking to the Sunday Tribune, mimic Mario Rosenstock said: "We were looking at the computer at the response coming in while it was playing, and even before the first verse had ended, we saw all these texts flying in. The odd one [song or sketch] you get a very big reaction, but this one was on the same level as 'Dry Your Eyes Becks' and also the 'Jose' song."
The original song, which features Beyoncé questioning what her life would be like if she were male, sees Roy Keane wondering how he would get by if he wasn't himself. Other popular Gift Grub characters including Niall Quinn, Steven Staunton and, of course, the obligatory Bertie Ahern cameo all weigh in to discuss his crisis of identity and position in Sunderland. Just a couple of hours after the broadcast, Keane left his position as manager of Sunderland, lending an even more timely feel to the song.
Lyrically, the song sees Keane speculating on life minus his personality. "If I wasn't Roy / I'd also might wonder / How I bought a bunch of langers / Like Cissé and Chimbonda," he reflects, before the character of Bertie Ahern offers the advice, "If I were you Roy / I'd throw meself down the stairs / Cos I've noticed a lot of sympathy / For blokes on crutches and wheelchairs."
Rosenstock told the Sunday Tribune that the idea for the song came when he and presenter Ian Dempsey were "just kicking it around one day."
"Ian and I were talking and thought there's definitely something in the song. We didn't know what kind of parody it would be and then things started to get really bad for Roy and I just said to Ian, 'what about 'If I Wasn't Roy'?' using the conditional tense. We worked it out together, put a few more characters in, and you can kind of smell it then and go 'I bet you there will be a good reaction'."
Keane has always played a large part in Gift Grub's material, with Rosenstock taking the lead in the play I, Keano and even interviewing him as Roy on air last year.
Him Keano: the lyrics to 'Gift grub's latest musical parody
Sung by 'Roy Keane':?
If I wasn't Roy
Even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
If I wasn't Roy
I might know what to do
Cos this weekend it might be curtains
If I get a hiding down at Man U
'Niall Quinn':?If he wasn't Roy
A legend, a god
I'd ask him where's our €90 million
Cos still we have a really crap squad
'Roy Keane':?Cos if I wasn't Roy
I'd also might wonder
How I bought a bunch of langers
Like Cissé and Chimbonda
'Mick McCarthy': Cos if I were you Roy
I'd try to be nicer
Cos you're not the only one
Who's had his arse put through a bacon slicer
If I were you Roy
And in the trouble you're in
I'd probably start kicking bottles
And saying things like 'banana skin'
If I were you Roy
I'd throw meself down the stairs
Cos I've noticed a lot of sympathy
For blokes on crutches and wheelchairs
'Various': But we are not Roy
And your job we can't save
But we really hope you'll win again
If it means that you will finally shave
'Roy Keane':?If I wasn't Roy
Would my beard look this bad?
Cos I'm going around like Tommy Tiernan
Crossed with Mahmoud Ahmajinedad
Lyrics by Marion Rosenstock and Ian Dempsey