Here's one for you. A footballer walks into a bar, orders a beer, and joins some friends from work to drink it. Little does he know however that the barman recognises him, reckons he shouldn't be there, grabs a phone and starts making some calls. Shortly after, before the drink has been finished, the footballer's manager is on the premises. They don't speak, just shoot an awkward look at one another across the floor and the footballer leaves before there is any trouble.
Don't think it's very funny? Neither does the footballer.
That was the end of Mark Vaughan's inter-county career, an evening in July 2009 over an overpriced pint in Café en Seine on Dawson Street. When it comes to these matters in Kerry, they say the hills have eyes. Vaughan learned the hard way that even the most non-GAA bar in the grey cityscape of the capital can be just as dangerous. The previous Sunday after Dublin had won out in Leinster, the team went drinking together, but Vaughan refused as he had to start a new job before 7am the next day. Instead, he waited for Friday night to join his new colleagues for a couple of quiet ones. But the next day he got a call from Pat Gilroy telling him that was it. Vaughan hasn't played for Dublin since. He hasn't even spoken to Gilroy since.
"There was no real discipline problem," he says. "It was a miscommunication. There had been other stuff leading up to it and I had injury problems and things just got off on the wrong foot and went in the wrong direction. We [Kilmacud's inter-county players] came back to the Dublin panel late after winning the All Ireland and were told the rules after everyone else. There was a three-week drinking ban before games but as far as I was told it was two. I left straight away when I saw him in the bar because I didn't think it'd be good to be seen in the same place as the manager. I found out after he'd been called about me being there, he didn't say that to me, but I found out. That's the way it goes. That's the risk you run when you go to a pub like that. But it's in the past."
It's two years since we last sat down together and you mention that there are similarities. Back then it was just days before Kilmacud took on Rhode in a Leinster final as well, and just like then, today you could still get Vaughan all wrong if you didn't realise he's just being himself and doesn't see the big deal. But there are changes too. You tell him the hair has toned down. "Ah I'm probably just getting lazier. A little older." You tell him he's in danger of being a would've, should've, could've inter-county football as well but he just shrugs and says he hopes to get back to the big time.
That last time we talked he mentioned how he once didn't know who Seamus Moynihan was; he mentioned how as a minor he once drank three cans the night before a match, played well, got superstitious and did it before a lot more games; he mentioned how he told a Monaghan player during a fight in a challenge match to f**k off back to Britain. He also mentioned those were mistakes and how he was trying to conform a little more but it turns out that last part was missed by many. When teammates read that interview, some had words. Others hiding behind pseudonyms had words too.
You show him the article and some of the comments left under it on the Sunday Tribune website. "Any wonder why nobody likes the poor old Dubs?" "This lad is an embarrassment." "That's the problem with Dublin. Pure arrogance. Quite an embarrassing interview if you're a Dub, funny otherwise." "Why doesn't Mark just emulate other great players around the country who keep to themselves all the time?"
Scanning down through the remarks, Vaughan looks puzzled. And maybe he's right. After all, Dublin football seemed to have more of a connect with its people when he was around, just the latest in a long line of likeable, cheeky and outspoken city kids that seemed to have always populated sides from the capital. He still looks puzzled. When did speaking your mind become a cross to bear? When did an inter-county player having an opinion stop fitting into the way things work in the GAA?
"It's hard to comment on some of this stuff," Vaughan says. "A lot of it, I don't know, you're going to get hatred. I've had Dublin fans abuse me on the street and then the following week I was a hero. It's part and parcel of it, and I think that's why a lot of lads retreat to their club where they do feel more protected. But as a county footballer you are willing to take on a lot of risk, you are always going to be the guy in the firing line and I don't mind.
"I stick my head on the chopping block a lot. I take frees, if it doesn't work out then so be it, as long as I try my best. And being in the firing line I'm always going to see those type of comments. But almost every time I went out for Dublin, I think I proved my worth and I took everything on the chin.
"But talking to you now, I wouldn't get stick in Crokes for that, just a slagging. But Dublin put in a load of policies and tightened up on all the media stuff. There was a lot more seriousness, if a lad says anything off the cuff there are consequences, you'll be spoken to and warned about it. But it's two really different things. With the club you are playing with your mates, 15 lads who grew up together, it's a lot more fun. A lot of inter-county managers think you're professional, but the way I see it, if you want to be that professional why not play professional sport. Gaelic was built on lads enjoying themselves, and that's when I play my best football. When you go there and it's a chore is when you don't perform."
Had Dublin become a chore before you left the panel, you ask?
"I wouldn't say that, like playing championship in front of huge crowds is an amazing thrill. In fact I do miss being part of the panel. I like playing sport at the best level you can play. And don't get me wrong, I'd have no hard feelings with Pat Gilroy either. Maybe I just annoyed people because if anything, the GAA is so traditional. It took 60 years to come up with different formations, people couldn't believe Kerry were throwing in a guy who is 6'7" in full-forward, at that size he has to play midfield. That's the traditional thinking. It's changing now but when guys first bring in something like bleached hair or white boots, it gets frowned upon in Gaelic more than any other sport.
"But I guess being myself, a lot of time it's a problem for me when I'm with Dublin. I struggle to take something that seriously. I remember when I was playing my best football, I'd be early for training and my favourite time was going out 45 minutes early and messing around with one of the sub-goalies, hitting a ball around. Then under Pat you weren't allowed go out early, you were only allowed out 15 minutes before training to warm up. He'd be going mad if you were taking soccer shots. I always enjoyed that and I trained better when I had this happy feeling going out. Otherwise you're thinking it's a drag, you can't do this or that and you can't tell a joke or you get in trouble."
But since he's been gone from the main stage, Vaughan has still been more than glad to follow Gilroy and his team right though the summer. Despite being dropped from the panel before the Kerry quarter-final in 2009 he still attended as a fan. It's been no different these last two summers, he even reckons he gets far less stick in the stand than he ever got on the pitch. As for the future, he says he'd like to be back with Dublin some day, although his recent past with Gilroy and Dublin's tactics may mean he has to wait.
"Maybe that is the case, but actions speak louder than words and if I can go out and prove he was wrong I think he'll be the one with pressure rather than me. There's no better feeling than proving someone wrong in the long term. If I can get in good enough shape, score enough, help the team enough, then there's no reason why I can't be back in the squad this year. Like I'm only 25. But I've never had a plan for the future, not before or now. I'm an in-the-moment type of guy. I don't look to what I will be. It's what I can be now. I've always done my best for any team I've played with, I guess though that my style doesn't suit the current Dublin team and I can see why. I'm not a defensive forward.
"They have their attacking forward who is Bernard Brogan and the rest of them just filter back and defend. I'd like to be there but if not I'll always support them, although it is strange looking in because in your head you feel you can do better than certain guys out there. I feel I can do better but you have to prove yourself. Sometimes watching I think I was starting ahead of all these guys two or three years ago, I've done better since then and won a club All Ireland, why am I not out there? But the other side is if you are really playing that well you'll be in the team. That's the way I see it so I'll just have to improve more."
Just like he's done in other areas. Browse through the internet and you might read about him fighting topless on Leeson Street, quitting his job to watch the World Cup, or that he attended Griffith College due to a learning disability. But it was his friends that posted all those rumours, he laughed at each one of them, did a masters in DIT and is now working as a stockbroker in the IFSC. His club career has been going well too, and not the one he was becoming infamous for a few years back. In fact in six seasons playing senior football for Kilmacud he's won four Dublin titles, a win today will make it three Leinster titles and there could yet be a second All Ireland in the coming months. Not bad going for the guy that people presumed had neither the mentality for inter-county football nor life.
"I've always said my number one ambition was to win a club All Ireland. I'd love to win one with Dublin, don't get me wrong, but winning an All Ireland with your best mates, there is no better feeling. Would I change what I've done with Kilmacud for a start with Dublin? No way. It's why Sunday will be so important and we know how good Rhode are. They should have beaten us before, have a lot of motivation and Niall McNamee is brilliant; if he played for another county he'd do some scoring. But I'd love to win another Leinster with Kilmacud and I think I can play a part in it. I've gotten a lot of my confidence back recently after injuries and everything else and I've learned a lot. Like, I've learned to concentrate on doing what's best for a team rather than just being in it.
"Don't get me wrong, I get in trouble with some of the senior players in Crokes but I play Gaelic to have a laugh as well as reach as high as I can. I'll be the biggest pain in the arse for everyone on the bus on Sunday, I'll be joking and messing and lads will be getting so pissed off with me but when it comes to the game I'll take it twice as serious as anyone. I'll go mental at myself, mental at anyone not giving it their all. I'm one of the most passionate guys on a pitch but I can literally mess around until the ball is thrown in. Maybe people don't understand me and maybe they never will. But this is just me and the way I am and I can't help that."
Nor will he apologise for it. And while he's being honest, you might as well too. Go on admit it. You missed the fun and freshness that he brings to it all.
emackenna@tribune.ie
Surely if Mark is good enough, which he is , he should at least be on the panel.
He offers an alternate tactic if Brogan is dominated
He may be opinionated but that is no reason to drop him
Gilroy shows a lack of maturity - going to a bar staring out a player but not taking the time to clarify the position to the player
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i think while mark was a pain in the arse sometimes he never deserved the stick he got.no young lad does ,and it would be nice to see him back in blue,good luck mark