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Reeling in the embarrassment: a trip down the BB boreen

Mary O'Leary

Ray Shah

Orlaith McAllister

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Whether you greet the end of Big Brother with tears or cheers, we all have to admit that it has given us some of the most horrifically glorious television moments of the past decade. As the final series kicks off this week, we roll back the years for the Inaugural and Final Sunday Tribune's Former Big Brother Irish Housemate's Purposefully Omitting Anna Nolan and Brian Dowling Because They Were Actually Likeable Awards.

The Things Could Only Get Better Award goes to Ray Shah for his two displays of jaw-dropping behaviour on Big Brother in 2003. The first was falling into a jacuzzi with the Irish flag to the disdain of nationalists; the second was masturbating in the bathroom underneath a duvet. Charming. After that, even doing vox pops for Q102 and appearing at cruddy launches is a step up.

The Fake Boobs Can't Buy You Cop On In Or Out Of Trinity College Award goes to Orlaith McAllister who appeared in Big Brother in 2005 and shocked an audience who couldn't believe that an Irish woman could have plastic surgery. McAllister looked set to become a lads mag staple, and got engaged to a millionaire property tycoon. But silicone fairytales soon droop and McAllister is now living in Belfast, bringing up her two children on welfare benefits. Worst of all, it was recently claimed she slept with John Terry.

The Anti-Bord Failte Award goes to Mary O'Leary who also appeared in Big Brother in 2005 although she was slightly different from Orlaith in that whole 'non-practising white witch who had been abducted by aliens seven times' kind of way. They kept giving her back, you see.

The Can't You Just Keep Him In The House Forever Award goes to Spiral, the Finglas rapper with the verbal dexterity of a stoned goat who ensured a summer of watching the TV through your fingers while he spat rhymes in the diary room. We're still cringing. The hip hop is gone and Spiral currently DJs "funky house and club classics". Ominously, his MySpace page currently reads 'DJ SPIRAL IS BACK 2010'. Hide.