The world's most pointless inventions
Come on – do you really want a motorised fork? Martin Hickman takes a snowplough to the gizmos that fulfill none of our needs
Plane Sheet
Motorised Fork
The Sat Nag
Wii Fit
Folding Fishing Camping Chair (with Speakers)
Toyota Prius
Digital Electronic Jumping Rope
Guitar Hero
Ever wore yourself out eating an ice-cream, trying to ensure the ice-cream gets in your mouth and not on the floor? Well help is at hand with the first ever motorised ice-cream cone – which has just been judged the most wasteful consumer product made last year.
The annual Landfill Prize is a brainchild of the environmental writer John Naish, who invited members of the public to nominate products for the "most pointless, frivolous and wasteful consumer objects" of the year.
Naish said the prize was a celebration of the "stupendous creativity of the people tasked with inventing constantly inflated new wants for us to want. It's a monument to perverse imagination and needless consumption."
Competition was tight. Below are some of the nominees for the top prize. The motorised ice-cream cone, by the way, has been a phenomenal seller.
Motorised Ice-Cream Cone
For those too lazy to twist their wrists when eating an ice-cream. You pop your ice-cream in it, stick your tongue out and it does all the hard work for you, ensuring no drips get on to your hand. You can even put it in the dishwasher – no need to tire yourself out washing up.
USB Chameleon
Plug him into your computer and sit him somewhere on your desk or screen. Watch as he rolls his eyes at you and sticks out his tongue. The only problem with this utterly useless executive toy: the chameleon doesn't even change colour.
Plane Sheet
As if flying wasn't bad enough for the environment, now you can step up your wasteful footprint with a plane seat cover. It is designed to "transform a tired, overused airline seat into a cozy, happy place". You can even have it monogrammed.
Motorised fork
A motorised spinning fork that twirls your noodles or spaghetti, ideal for those people who can't be bothered to do it themselves. The only trouble, apart from the waste and the fact that you'll look like an idiot, is that it's much slower than using your own hand.
The Sat Nag
The world's most useless navigation device blasts its owner with 24 annoying comments. Typical phrases include: "You have reached your destination – you may now throttle your passenger." Sat nav is wasteful enough, but this is ridiculous.
Nintendo Wii Fit
Why go outside and exercise for free when you can pay hundreds of euro to do it in front of the televsion? The Wii has taken Ireland by storm as parents buy it in the hope of getting children to exercise – but they end up playing the bowling game.
Folding Fishing Camping Chair (with speakers)
Just what every angler needs. No peace and quiet, but a folding fishing camping chair with four speakers so you can irritate everyone around you. For those people who've never heard of headphones.
The Toyota Prius
The Toyota Prius, the so-called eco-friendly car, is so wasteful it actually comes with two engines. Not so much environmentally friendly, more an overblown status symbol. How much energy does it take to make, use, and dispose of?
Digital Electronic Jumping Rope
Bored with your ropy old skipping rope? How about an electronic version with batteries in the handles that counts the number of jumps and "calculates" how many calories you've burnt? Of course, you could help to save the world by counting the number of times you skip before collapsing in a sweaty heap.
Guitar Hero
Rather than learn to play an actual instrument, you can now make a virtual cacophony on virtual instruments by pressing primary-coloured buttons on a plastic guitar. For a couple of hundred pounds you can complete the set, and get some friends over to play the plastic drums and plastic bass.
March 1, 2009
Website by Maithú™
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