Sou heard it here first: TV3's forthcoming Celebrity Salon promises to be the Greatest. Irish. Reality. Show. EVER. What's that, you holler, even better than Celebrity Farm? Better than Charity Lords Of The Ring? Better than Cabin Fever, the one where the boat sank and they didn't even get it on camera? The idea behind Celebrity Salon is simple, yet brilliant: six hot Irish celebrities go to work in a top beauty salon. That's right!

Imagine the hilarity. It gets even better: participants will reportedly include Rosanna Davison, Big Brother winner Brian Dowling and Apprentice also-ran Breffny Morgan. How much talent can one show handle? And, in an entirely unrelated question, is Peter Mark an actual person? These questions keep us awake at night. Back to the Salon: why not set Rosie to work on the legendary eyebrows of her father, music legend Chris De Burgh? Talk about grooming-related synergy. Tell us you can't imagine Brian wisecracking while crack-waxing? Or Breffny going scarlet as he sprays some young wan orange... This one promises to make The Cosmetic Surgery Show look like Prime Time. Many have been quick to condemn TV3 for dumbing down Irish television – we think they're doing an amazing job, although we think they should definitely televise bare-knuckle traveller bouts. This just in: top scientists have estimated that, by the year 2041, one in three Irish people will be a z-list celebrity. Not really, but it sounds true-ish. And that's all that matters.