Elaine Crowley

We've been ignoring TV3's Midday for some time now but hearing the endless chatter about it from unemployed friends in the same way insomniacs talk about Play TV, we delved into the world of TV3's half-assed attempt to make a witches' brew of eye of View, tail of Loose Women.

For those not at home in the afternoon, Midday is a panel format presented this week by Elaine Crowley (above). She was joined by yer wan from from The Apprentice who said "Daddy can't buy you cop on in Trinity College" and three other blow ins who stumbled into the studio. Speaking of studios, TV3 has outdone itself in the shoddiness of this build. One imagines the Ballymount bosses were in a Lidl shop when the StudioCheapinkeitenzung for €49.99 jumped out from the middle aisle. The programme serves no real purpose other than to be a "man-free zone" so the wimmin can talk about things that matter to them, which appears to be a range of topics previously discussed on the Chris Barry phone show circa 1999.

Crucially, instead of casting different characters, TV3 seemed to just grab the first four people queueing for the jacks in Milanos, most of whom pretend to have opinions purely for the purposes of a studio debate. Then they all settle on the same conclusion.

Come back Play TV, all is forgiven.