I'm a celebrity, get me some baby food
Transform your body in two weeks! Magically transmogrify from blimpen beast to goddess and never feel hungry! Yes, it's that time of year again when even the most rational of people grasp at any potion, lotion or exercise regime to speed up the process of losing their muffin tops. And if it's attached to a celebrity, so much the better. But which diet/ slimming aid to choose? Una Mullally and Claire O'Mahony drank vile flavoured water, ate carrot purée and donned a white body stocking in the name of research
Sea Kelp
The Durkan Diet by Dr Pierre Dukan
Angelina Jolie a fan of Endermologie
Green Coffee
Lisa Cannon a fan of the Slender Pro Active
Ingredients for The Master Cleanse diet
The Baby Food Diet
Poster girl: Jennifer Aniston
In a nutshell: Eating baby food instead of real food. Celebrity fitness devil, sorry, 'guru' Tracy Anderson is putting lots of her clients on this diet apparently.
The Verdict: You can either swap your entire diet for puréed food, or just use baby food as snacks or to satisfy cravings. After replacing one meal with a jar of carrot baby purée, we were already done. It's basically a way of eating less in a really bland way. And anyway, your body is meant to work at breaking down food, so consuming something that's already almost processed doesn't seem very healthy to us. There's something very strange about grown women eating mush for kids.
Pro: Baby food is full of vitamins and minerals, so technically you're not denying your body nutrients.
Con: It's a disgusting and depressing way to diet and makes us want to cry.
Coconut Water
Poster girl: Sienna Miller
In a nutshell: Not to be confused with the super-fattening coconut milk, sales of this fluid, which comes from the younger, green fruit have jumped by 60% in the UK since Matthew McConaughey and Madonna bought shares in the company, and, of course, it's what the rumoured Mrs Jude Law-to-be Miller has been accessorising her little playsuits with all summer. Low-fat, low-sugar, it has twice the potassium content of a banana, which helps reduce water retention. Some of the more out-there claims are that it will fight cellulite, regulate digestion and reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease. But obviously everyone is drinking it because it's meant to help you lose weight.
The verdict: "Mmmm, delicious," says Sunday Tribune guinea pig A, but it is unclear as to whether the possibility of weight loss has completely overridden her taste buds.
"Omigod. It's like water gone wrong. It tastes like a glass of water with a chunk of bread in it, left for days on a bedside locker," says Sunday Tribune guinea pig B.
Pros: Very trendy and better for you than a bar of Bounty.
Cons: Weight-loss is not going to happen if you continue to eat all the pies and chocolate; it's not inexpensive (about €4 for a 500ml carton) and unbelievably foul to certain palates.
Sea Kelp
Poster girl: Alex Curran
In a nutshell: "Oooooh," screamed the Daily Mail when Steven Gerrard's missus was papped with a box of sea kelp tablets. "Alex Curran taking 'dangerous' diet pills." Fair enough if you're popping 20 a day but the recommended dosage of two-three tablets a day is unlikely to do you any harm. Sea kelp comes from seaweed and is a rich source of iodine (it regulates the thyroid which looks after metabolism) potassium and calcium with some Vit A and protein. It may help weight loss and it may improve the condition of your hair and make it grow faster.
The verdict: The thing is, most western diets are fairly rich in iodine anyway so it's probably not something you're lacking and if you do actually have thyroid problems, then you definitely shouldn't take these tablets.
Pros: Low maintenance and no longer-term research to indicate that they are actually harmful.
Cons: Horrible chalky tablets that disintegrate in your mouth, do not give any instant results and who really wants to hold Alex Curran up as a role model?
The Dukan Diet
Poster girl: Jennifer Lopez
In a nutshell: You know how French women don't get fat? Allegedly it's because of this way of eating, devised by Dr Pierre Dukan. Two million copies of his book have sold in France alone. It's been likened to Atkins, but Dukan differs in that he doesn't agree you can eat as much fat as you want. There are four stages to the diet, starting off with an 'Attack', where you eat only protein for seven days. Then comes 'Cruise', where you alternate pure protein days with a day of eating protein and vegetables followed by 'Consolidation', which allows two pieces of fruit, bread and a chunk of cheese a day, as well as two celebration meals where you can have alcohol and dessert, finishing up with 'Stabilisation', where you eat what you want for six out of seven days and have one day of high-protein foods.
The verdict: Not the most 'out there' by any means, the online support is good and the emphasis is not just on weight-loss but maintenance.
Pros: Tells us we can reach our ideal weight, as calculated on www.dukan.co.uk in just 34 days. What's not to love about that?
Cons: Bad breath, not ideal for vegetarians and a week of eating high-protein food, even if they come from 72 different sources, is not ideal. Two words: meat sweats.
Hula-hooping
Poster girl: Michelle Obama
In a nutshell: Because your body has to work extra hard to keep the momentum of the hoop spinning, you strengthen your core muscles throughout your abdomen, back, pelvis, hips and thighs.
The Verdict: You can buy weighed hula hoops but being a wuss, we opted for your average toy shop one. After several false starts and the hoop crashing sadly to the ground, we got the hang of it, kind of. Your stomach muscles immediately tighten and it has more urgency than other core exercises, because balance, speed and skill are also involved. After two 15-minute sessions (featuring lots of swearing and hoop dropping), we was pooped, so it's probably not the best way of doing sustained exercise. The next day, stomach muscles felt more strained than worked out, and our back was a bit twingey, so it's definitely not for anyone who has a dodgy back.
Pro: It's cheap, and you can do it at home.
Con: Gimmicky and can be quite frustrating.
Endermologie
Poster people: Angelina Jolie and Penelope Cruz
In a nutshell: Endermologie and lipomassage are procedures that eliminate cellulite and 'contour' parts of the body, which ultimately leads to inch loss. The suction and massage breaks down fat cells, speeds up the elimination of metabolic waste and improves blood and lymph circulation.
The Verdict: The actual procedure itself – being massaged by a hand-held thingamabob attached to a bigger machine while wearing nothing but a white body stocking – ranges from a bit uncomfortable to quite relaxing. It's like getting a deep-tissue massage on your tummy. After one half-hour session, our jeans seemed to slip on a little easier, but that effect could have been just psychological. French women swear by it, which makes us think it works. You can expect to lose up to two inches around your tummy after six sessions.
Pro: It's non-invasive, and you get to do the 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head' video dance in the white body stocking.
Con: Beauty has a price, but Renew Aesthetic Clinic (4, Convent Close, Dublin 2, 01 661 9261) is running special offers this summer for endermologie. When you sign up for four half-hour sessions (€360) you get two free, or you can go for a course or six 15-minute sessions for €180. www.renewclinic.ie
Green Coffee
Poster girl: Courteney Cox
In a nutshell: Green tea is so five years ago. Massive in Australia, green coffee is new to Ireland and drinking a single cup of it every morning can help users to lose 10% of their body weight in four to six weeks by boosting energy and curbing the appetite. Made from organic Arabica coffee greens, the magic ingredient is lingzhi, which is used in Chinese medicine to regulate blood pressure, lower cholesterol and cleanse the body of toxic waste.
The verdict: Can a cup of coffee really help drop the pounds? After a ten day trial we didn't see the results.
Pros: It's a very pleasant start to the day.
Cons: A two-week supply (14 sachets) cost €39 and as much as we'd like to squeeze into a pair of denim shorts this summer, even we're not foolishly hopeful enough to think that this is going to do the trick, not unless is accompanied by plenty of exercise and a reasonably balanced food intake.
Slender Pro Active
Poster girl: Lisa Cannon
In a nutshell: Cannon says she lost over a stone and went down a dress size in three months by drinking two of these vanilla-flavoured drinks, twice a day. They have 111 kcal each and are a blend of whey protein peptides and milk minerals which supposedly work to promote fat-loss while maintaining lean muscle.
The verdict: Cannon looks great on it but that could also be to do with the fact that she started to jog a couple of times a week and eat more healthily.
Pros: It's no hardship to glug two of these a day.
Cons: Again, the price – €39.95 for a two-week supply of what seems to be very Emperor's New Clothes-ish.
The Master Cleanse
Poster girl: Naomi Campbell, Beyoncé
In a nutshell: A detox diet that involves drinking only a concoction of lemon juice (which detoxes you), cayenne pepper (which speeds up your metabolism) and maple syrup (which apparently provides you with energy). Beyoncé lost 22lbs after doing the cleanse for 14 days prior to her role in Dreamgirls, so it must work.
The Verdict: We tried this twice, and both times couldn't get past a day and a half. Side effects included crazy headaches that made it difficult to do regular tasks like driving. It did banish some bloating, but at a huge cost. The only way we could see it actually working was if you went to a spa or detox centre for the duration of the diet so you wouldn't have to actually do anything while you were going through it.
Pro: Gets rid of bloating.
Con: Nausea, headaches. Extreme no-food detoxes like this do cause you to lose weight, but like all crash diets, you'll gain the weight back in time, and there's a huge amount of suffering to be endured throughout it.
May 30, 2010
Advertise here
Click to create
Website by Maithú™
Searching
Print
E-mail
del.icio.us
digg
Facebook
Google
I have been using the weighted Powerhoop for past 5 years and have a small business selling them and also Arm Hoops. They are a really great fitness tool, for slimming the waist and core area. They come in 2 sizes 4lbs and 5lbs and you can lose 2inches off your waist monthly by playing 10 mins twice daily. You can purchase on www.powerhoop.ie
Kind Regards Mags Reddington
Powerhoop-Ireland