LET'S get straight to the point shall we; are they real?

If yes, Nell McAndrew is a freak of nature if no, can we have her surgeon's number?

How does someone so skinny (see protruding sternum for details) have such enormous knockers?

Knockers may not be 'politically correct' but we don't care because firstly, being politically correct is ever so dull and secondly, there is simply no other word that describes her bosom so aptly.

Does that bra come with a discreetly concealed pump?

How does she get them to sit up so high? Is she ever tempted to rest her tea on them when no one's looking?

Most likely no because as we gathered from her stint on My Career's Knackered for Christ-Sake Keep Me On TV, Nell's not exactly the innovative type. While the others were eating their share of creepie crawlies and bickering with each other as programmed, Nell's concentration was mainly occupied with keeping herself awake. The lights might have been on but there was nobody home.

It has come to our attention lately that the 'Nell' figure is all the rage; lean limbs, hips that make a Ukrainian gymnast look underfed and massive breasts. All very well on paper but I'm afraid this combination isn't genetically possible.