Madeira's exports comprise a motley bunch – fortified wine, cake and Cristiano Ronaldo. You can hardly escape the epicurean offerings in the capital, Funchal, from cellar tours and wine tastings to bottle-filled shops (Madeira cake doesn't originate from the island but was devised to be eaten with the wine). Yet what of the island's Mr Bling – the winger for whom Manchester United paid £12m? Don't expect billboards or posters. This sleepy Atlantic island just doesn't seem that interested.
Nevertheless, the past decade has seen Madeira in transition, trying to diversify its appeal and attract not just those with Ronaldo's formidable spending power but also those with his youth. The island's natural assets – a year-round temperate climate, luxuriant vegetation and dramatic mountain scenery – have been luring tourists here since the 19th century. But they've tended to be an older clientele. Hitherto, "hip" was a word more likely to be linked with "replacement" than anything cool and edgy in Madeira.
Winston Churchill came to paint and escape what he called his "black dog" depression in the pretty fishing village of Camara de Lobos, holing up at the eminent Reid's Palace Hotel in Funchal ? where gentlemen are still required to wear a jacket. Even the Beatles' old yacht, the Vagrant has retired to the harbour, now permanently moored as a floating tourist restaurant. And former taoiseach Bertie Ahern holidayed here with Celia Larkin.
The island's first jolt of defibrillation came in the form of a clutch of luxury lodgings in restored, rural manor houses or quintas. Quinta da Rochinha, an unapologetically modern restoration slammed into a cliff-side, opened in 2001 and was the island's first member of the Design Hotels group.
A year later, a Balinese-inspired country lodge, Choupana Hills, opened on the outskirts of Funchal. But the capital still lacked anything approaching urban cool. Now, seven years later, Funchal has its own Design Hotel. The Vine opened here in December and is set to continue where the first two left off.
The Vine has enlisted just about everyone it could to ensure that it becomes Madeira's coolest, most eye-catching hotel. The grotto-like design was dreamed up by Nini Andrade Silva, a Funchal local who has overseen some impressive projects on the Portuguese mainland. Architecture was directed by Ricardo Bofill, whose most recent project is the W Barcelona, an arresting sail-shaped monolith overlooking the Mediterranean harbour. And the kitchen is governed by Antoine Westermann, a multi-Michelin-starred Alsatian chef with restaurants in France and the US.
And the design concept behind The Vine? Wine, of course. Madeira may lie far out at sea, 310 miles from Morocco and twice as far from mainland Portugal. Its unforgiving topography may force its inhabitants to cling to the flanks of vertiginous slopes that plunge almost vertically into the Atlantic. But it's also a geological hotspot, and its volcanic composition has allowed plant life ? and especially vines ? to flourish.
The "vines" in reception coil up from the floor to fence off the restaurant; the "trees" are segments of wood that create an arboreal contour around the walls and ceilings. The pebbles are cushions.
Madeira doesn't just nurture grapes, though. A walk around the city's market with The Vine's executive chef, Thomas Faudry, introduced me to new and unfamiliar fruits. Stalls groaned with strapping carrots, plums, grapes and oranges, as well as some unfamiliar interlopers: banana ananas, which looked like elongated, knobbly gherkins and tasted of both banana and pineapple; maracuja bananas, which looked like bananas outside and passion fruit inside; and tamarillo, pointed tomatoes with the flavour of passion fruit. Beyond the fruit and vegetable courtyard was the fish hall, where scabbard fish – as ugly as the name suggests – were draped over counters. These monsters, with large saucer-like eyes and a long toothy snout, can grow to over a metre in length and live deep down in the sea around the Madeiran archipelago.
Faudry pointed out some of his favourite produce, such as the bay-leaf sticks used for espetada, traditional barbecued skewered meats.
On the other side of town another of Funchal's luxury hotels, The Cliff Bay, has just been awarded the island's first Michelin star for its Il Gallo d'Or restaurant. The haute-cuisine menu is steeped with local flavours, such as bouillabaisse with scallops and dacquoise cake made with local bananas and Madeiran passion fruit jelly.
You don't have to don jacket and tie to enjoy the fruits of the island. Opposite the baroque church of Socorro, among the cream walls and green shutters of Funchal's old town, is Riso. The unassuming buttermilk exterior hides a glass-encased restaurant teetering over the rocks below. The interior is mid-century Americana meets the Med, with a sweep of terrace proffering 180-degree views of the shimmering Atlantic below. Its menu is entirely dedicated to rice, incorporating local specialities such as scabbard fish with banana. Fuddy duddy it isn't.
Another surprise is local favourite Armazem do Sal. The 170-year-old former salt warehouse is tucked down an alley in the centre of town near the cathedral and follows the industrial chic school of design, with bare stone walls, low-beamed ceilings, a low-lit bar and two plaques above the door reading "Nova Companhia Douro Porto 1875" and "Carantia Funchalense Madeira". Here, anything from octopus to Argentine steak is accompanied by fado, the melancholy folk music that seems to define the Portuguese soul.
The beat picks up at Café do Teatro. After midnight the coffee drinkers on the terrace pile into the retro-chic marble interior – all mirror balls, '60s-inspired prints and chandeliers – and DJs pump out music late into the night. "It's the best place for a caipirinha... the only place for a caipirinha. They are better than in Brazil," declared Camacho of the national Brazilian cocktail.
However, with Camacho's help, it could soon be The Vine vying for the capital's cool crowd. And with the aid of a 24-year-old ambassador in the shape of Cristiano Ronaldo, Madeira's transition from bastion of old-fashioned charm to a more vibrant, youthful destination is in motion. In keeping with tradition, though, it is taking a softly-softly approach.
There is of course much more to the island than eating and imbibing. You can also check out the following:
Hit the fairways
The mild weather makes the island a golfer's paradise and there are two great courses to play, both boasting typically lush island views. The 18-hole Palheiro club overlooks Funchal and has striking trees and shrubs. It offers a good challenge to golfers of any level and make sure you retire afterwards to the clubhouse, with its beautiful view over Funchal Bay. Santo da Serra, which opened in 1991, has 27 holes and 18 holes can be played in three different combinations. Its Robert Trent Jones design is stunning with sweeping fairways and this is the official home to the Madeira Island Open. Seve Ballesteros is a big fan of the course.
Enjoy some R n' R
An impressive amount of Maderia's hotels have equally impressive spas attached to them. Luxury hotel Reid's Palace (www.reidspalace.com) in Funchal has a beautiful spa with a number of interesting signature treatments. At certified 'eco'
bolthole, Hotel Jardim Atlantico (www.jardimatlantico.com), you can indulge in herbal and algae baths and vital balance massage, where all products are of a maritime derivative. Quinta das Vistas (www.quintadasvistasmadeira.com), which is part of the Charming Hotel group, has a stunning spa, the Chandra Spa, with an extensive menu with an international flavour which includes a comprehensive spa golf program, a Mexican hot stone massage and hamman experience. At the aforementioned Coupana Hills, the motto is 'inspired by nature' and the spa offers massages, peels, saunas and some irresistible chocolate-based treatments.
Party
It's not exactly a clubbing Mecca but in there are gentler celebrations to enjoy here. They love their festivals in Maderia. There are flower festivals, food festivals, wine harvest festivals. The flower festivals take place in April and May; Funchal celebrates saints' festivals in June, with the food festivals in July and August, while the annual Maderia wine festival is on 10 - 12 September of every year. Check www.madeiratourism.org for further information.
Getting there
Gohop.ie is offering a package to Maderia starting in May with direct flights and
seven nights B&B accommodation in the five-star Hotel Madeira Mare from €559 per person sharing. For further information log onto gophop.ie or tel (01) 2412389.
Eating and drinking there
Il Gallo d'Oro, Cliff Bay Hotel, 147 Estrada Monumental, Funchal (00 351 291 707 700; portobay.com).
Riso, 274 Rua de
Santa Maria, Funchal
(00 351 291 280 360; riso-fx.com).
Armazem do Sal,
135 Rua da
Alfandega, Funchal
(00 351 291 241 285; armazemdosal.com).
Café do Teatro, Teatro Municipal Baltazar Dias, Avenida
Arriaga, Funchal
(00 351 291 226 371; cafedoteatro.com).
Staying there
The Vine, 27a Rua dos Aranhas, Funchal, Madeira
(00 351 291 009 000; hotelthevine.com). Double rooms start at €248, including breakfast.
Choupana Hills, Travessa do Largo da Choupana, Funchal
(00 351 291 20 60 20; choupanahills.com). Doubles start at €305, room only.
Quinta da Rochinha, Ponta do Sol
(00 351 291 970 200; pontadosol.com). Doubles start at €117, including breakfast.
More information
Madeira Tourism:
00 351 291 211 900; madeiraislands.travel
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We went online to gophop.ie as suggested but there is no mention of this hotel (Madeira Mare) or this special deal. we tried several different dates ranging from May through to July... Can anyone else find it??