What did you have for breakfast today?

Muesli with a chopped banana and a couple of strawberries for pure extravagance.

If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be?

In a hammock strung between two trees in Indonesia.

What is your comfort food?

Fried banana – pisang goring – done in a pan with a little bit of brown sugar.

What website do you look at most?

I like the news sites, one of those multimedia all-the-newspapers-in-one ones.

How often do you exercise?

Every day. I stroll, walk, sometimes run, but I'm slightly hampered by this disc problem, so now I just walk to the fridge and back.

What do you watch on TV?

I don't really watch much TV. If I get a spare minute, I listen to music.

What living person do you most admire?

I have great admiration for Billy Bragg and also Fidel Castro for not being dead after all those assassination attempts. But Billy Bragg will do, another BB.

What living person do you least admire?

Probably one of those despicable scumbags like some Serbian mass murderers on the run somewhere.

How punctual are you?

I try to be punctual, but I feel as though I'm catching up with myself all the time.

What word or phrase do you overuse?

Wrong on so many levels.

What was your best holiday?

The last one I went on. I went diving with giant manta rays, south of Bali, off an island called Penida. An amazing experience.

What is your favourite cinema?

The Electric Screen on Portobello Road.

Are you good with credit cards?

Reasonably good. I tend to be quite scared of them. I remember the times I had £50 in the bank, and a credit card was a magical device, so I treat it with a bit of respect.

How long does it take you to get ready?

There's three levels of readiness really; first ? yes I'm ready. Then ? I'm going now, hang on a sec, let me get me keys, wallet, phone. And the third level is ? hang on, I've got to change me shirt. So probably quite a long time if I'm honest.

What do you most like about yourself?

I suppose I've realised over the years I'm quite easygoing and I'm quite adaptable and that however hard it is you can change. It's like trying to turn an oil tanker around.

What is your biggest regret?

That I didn't pursue an academic career and ended up being a low-life comedian.

What can you not live without?

Decent coffee and fast broadband.

Who was your first crush?

Siouxsie Sioux.

When did you last use public transport?

I tried yesterday, but there was a strike.

What do you worry about?

I worry about relatives and family, but mainly there's always something niggling away at me – 'have I replied to someone or forgotten to reply to someone else?' Day-to-day stuff.

Who did you last vote for?

I'm a lifelong Labour voter.

What would you do if you won the Lotto?

I'd get a boat and get my family and friends in it and sail around the world. Then I'd get some of that luxury cheese, you know that cheese that you think, 'oh, that's really a bit out of my league'.

What time do you go to bed?

It varies. If I've had a gig, it's quite late, the adrenalin keeps you up. So a normal gig night, about 2.30am.

Bill Bailey performs at the O2 on 30 September and 1 October