'Never ever try to board a moving train' and 'slippery when wet.' I spotted these two beauties at Killarney railway station.

They were obviously issued by The Ministry of the Bleedin' Obvious, but exactly what was the slippery when wet sign referring to? And isn't everything slippery when wet, except maybe sponges and some of our politicians who are even slippery when dry? And what kind of a gom needs a sign to tell him not to board a moving train. The next thing you know, Irish Rail will be putting up warnings like 'Never ever stand in front of moving trains.'

Some signs make great sense. Flavin's Bookshop in Listowel openly sold first editions of Ulysses when it was banned and that lovely family still run the business.

Old Micheál Flavin, the previous owner, posted a handwritten notice on his counter that read 'SMALL SHOP, NO LOOKING.' At first glance it makes no sense, but it is in fact a jewel of the genre.

The sign means 'do not take up space arseing around if you are just a tyre tapper (person in car saleroom who tests tyres with a toe tap, but has no money to buy anything and is only passing the time). And no free reading the paper. It costs us money to buy it so why should we allow you a free read as you take up valuable space and block off point of sale and stock from the spending public.'

I think Old Micheál put it much better.