the late night show comedians take a pop

Governor Palin is not expected to do particularly well in the night's debate, she is however favoured heavily in Friday night's swimsuit competition –Jimmy Kimmel

Joe Biden is gearing up for the vice-presidential debate. I understand he went to the hair salon, told the guy to put a little more on top –Jay Leno

Sarah Palin could not remember the name of a newspaper or a magazine that she reads. And I was thinking, wow, we could possibly have a leader of the country who doesn't read. And then I thought, hell it's worked pretty good for George Bush –David Letterman

Sarah Palin is training for the vice-presidential debate in Arizona. And she says it has really helped her on foreign policy, because from Arizona she can see Mexico –Letterman

Yesterday, the Dow Jones average dropped 777 points, which wiped out $1.2 trillion in the stock market. Financial experts say the last time that much money disappeared in one day was when Oprah left her purse in a cab – Conan O'Brien

I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show, if you
get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it – Leno

Larry Flynt announced he's making a porn movie with a Sarah Palin lookalike. John McCain called the idea offensive. Barack Obama called it inappropriate.
Bill Clinton said he'll reserve judgement until he sees the film – O'Brien

The big question, while Sarah Palin is yammering it up with Joe Biden, is who's keeping an eye on the Russians? I feel very unprotected right now – Kimmel

This bail-out bill has grown to 450 pages. And President Bush's copy is even thicker, because they had to add pictures – Leno

President Bush said if our nation continues on this course, the economic damage will be painful and lasting. But the good news? After eight years of Bush, we can handle painful and lasting – Leno

A company that produces dolls of all the political figures –
they do this every four years, they make action figures of all the candidates – just came out with a Joe Biden doll.

Apparently, the hair is so unrealistic, it looks just like him. – Leno

The economy is so bad that today, Dick Cheney was waterboarding his stockbroker – Letterman