Someone was able to hack into Sarah Palin's Yahoo! email account because she hadn't taken the proper security measures. Yeah. So, folks, it's official. No one in the Palin family uses protection. This is a problem. It starts with mom. Conan O'Brien

Last night, Barack Obama attended a fundraiser headlined by Barbra Streisand that raised $9 million. This was historic. This is the most money raised in one night, and it's the first time a black man has ever attended a Barbra Streisand concert. O'Brien

Yesterday in Washington, President Bush met with the cast of the Broadway musical, 'The Lion King'. This country is going down the toilet and he's meeting with the cast of 'The Lion King', yeah. Yeah, there was an awkward moment when Bush called Simba his favourite African leader. O'Brien

Out on the campaign trail, Hillary Clinton hasn't been mentioning Sarah Palin at all. She's just talking about John McCain. Not surprising. Hillary's always been good at ignoring the 'other woman'.
Craig Ferguson

But the dirt is beginning to come out. Apparently, one of Sarah's first acts as governor of Alaska was getting a tanning bed installed in the governor's mansion. The Republican Party is okay with it, which is weird, because usually they ask themselves, 'How can we make our candidate more white?' Ferguson

The presidential election is now down to the choice of Barack Obama and what's his name, versus Sarah Palin and what's his name. Jay Leno

I'm not sure if Sarah Palin knows what to do about the economy either. Do you think she has any experience? She was asked today what to do in a bear market. And she said, 'Well, you should shoot it, then skin it.' Leno

John McCain's campaign said that Sarah Palin will not talk to the media – this is a quote – until reporters can address her with respect and deference. Oh, what is she running for, vice president or queen? Leno

I tell you, you know who's got to be depressed about all of this? Hillary Clinton. I mean, look at this woman. She works hard, goes to Wellesley, goes to Yale, graduates with honours, devotes her entire life to public service. Now she's starting to realise if she had just put on some make-up and shot a moose, she'd be on her way to the White House. Leno

John McCain said again today that the fundamentals of our economy are still sound. To which OJ Simpson said, 'Hey, is it too late to get him on the jury?' Leno

Vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin today said she thinks the economy needs some shaking up and some fixin'. I'm pretty sure is also her recipe for oven-baked chicken. Jimmy Kimmel

This weekend, Karl Rove said John McCain's attack ads have gone too far. When Karl Rove says you've gone too far, that's like Mel Gibson saying you've had too much to drink. Ferguson

This weekend in New York City, gays and lesbians staged a protest, demanding the right to get married. When he heard this, President Bush said, 'Wait a minute, now gays want to marry lesbians?' O'Brien