MONDAY

As the long weekend rolled on, it was a day of mourning for families in Mayo and Limerick, as two men who died tragically were laid to rest. Garda Robert McCallion, who was knocked down by a stolen car in Donegal last month was buried in Swinford, Co Mayo, and in Limerick, the funeral took place of Roy Collins, the latest innocent victim of a seemingly never-ending feud who was shot dead in his family pub in Roxboro on Holy Thursday. The depressing scenes are played out the next day in newspapers. But as Séamus Heaney, who was the centerpiece of a celebration of his 70th birthday on Monday night once said, "Even if the hopes you started out with are dashed, hope has to be maintained." The poet was in the Royal Hospital Kilmainham in Dublin to listen to the broadcasting of three new pieces of music inspired by his poetry.

Tuesday

The reaction primary school teachers gave minister for education Batt O'Keeffe at the Irish Congress of Trade Unions conference is one they probably long for in their own jobs: stone cold silence. Of course, this was coupled with complete contempt, which probably shouldn't be encouraged amongst primary school pupils. Thirty delegates walked out in protest, and others held posters aloft to get their message across. When O'Keeffe's speech ended, only the teacher's pets, sorry, invited guests, in the front row applauded. Someone bog-wash him quick. In LA, another person with bad hair was being given an equally frosty reception, as infamous music producer Phil Spector was finally convicted of the second degree murder of actress Lana Clarkson. Clarkson was found dead from a gunshot wound in February 2003 in Spector's house.

wednesday

"I totally understand OJ. I get it," were the words from peroxide steroid bundle Hulk Hogan, who showed the utmost sensitivity when saying he understands why OJ Simpson knocked off his partner and her lover. Expect OJ is innocent. Even though OJ wrote that book that said even though he is innocent this is what might have happened if he could put himself inside the mind of the killer. Which isn't him. Anyway, Hulk Hogan tried to backtrack, obviously, with a representative saying, "Hulk in no way condones the OJ situation." It's sort of hard to take a PR statement seriously when the client's name starts with 'Hulk'. Another dangerous man faced his demise slightly south of Hulk's LA home. Colombian police captured the country's most wanted drug lord. Daniel Rendon Herrera aka Don Mario whose days were numbered when earlier this year he offered his gunmen $1,000 for every police officer they murdered.

thursday

No sooner had Obama mentioned that there were glimmers of hope in the economy than the ESB announced an initiative to create 3,700 jobs. At a press conference, the authorities mined old episodes of Tomorrow's World to come up with strategies including a system to allow for the recharging of electric cars. With just seven years to go to 2015, the year Back To The Future Part II was set in, the state electricity body should really also be looking into the development of hover boards.

Meanwhile in Bolivia, an Irishman was implicated in a plot to overthrow the president Evo Morales. Three foreign mercenaries were killed by police forces, according to reports, with local media confusingly reporting them to be a Hungarian, Romanian and Irish national.

friday

Justice minister Dermot Ahern announced the publication of the Criminal Justice Surveillance Bill, and then went home to watch The Wire. The bill allows gardaí to use electronic surveillance, wire taps and bugs in court as evidence. Apart from 'limited emergency situations', all surveillance activity must be authorised by a judge. Meanwhile, Obama granted immunity for CIA officers involved in using torture techniques such as sleep deprivation and simulated drowning, aka waterboarding ,to extract information from terrorist suspects. Although the US president has halted the use of such techniques, he seems to believe the blame lies with the Department of Justice at the time, and that officials were carrying out orders. Hmm, maybe he isn't so perfect after all.

Valerie Shanley is on leave