If Fianna Fáil ran the country the way
it runs ardfheiseanna, we'd be Canada. All records were smashed at the Jim Mansfield-owned venue for party conferences. Even with a 20% discounted room rate for the weekend, this was a splurge by post-Celtic Tiger standards. "The best year we've had, there were 4,000 delegates. This year, 5,000 have signed in," purred chief executive John Glynn.
Inside, never did so many rugby shirts grace a Fianna Fáil ardfheis. Lucky for their leader, the showdown with the Old Enemy in Croker would be decided before he stood up to make his address to the nation. "The GAA are our cousins," elucidated Donie Cassidy in the heaving lounge. "We built them a fine stadium. They'll have the money paid back this year. And they'll make another €1.5m from the English match."
Who'd have thought the dividends of peace would be so sweet? There for the first time, at this 72nd ardfheis, was the newly formed Crossmaglen cumann. And not a scintilla of discombobulation in a party, whose leaders brand cross-border shopping unpatriotic, indulging in a little cross-border party building.
Outside the marquee where the faithful were voting for party offices, a cardboard cutout of the US president tilted tipsily against a herbaceous border. "Obama says vote Jerry Beades No 1", it urged, evoking memories of the builder-candidate's pal, Bertie Ahern, telling us once upon a time there were "lulus" ready to pounce on him from the bushes in Parknasilla.
Bertie nostalgia is the new Cowen mania in Fianna Fáil. It is the love that dares not speak its name. In whispering corners, the former leader's bust leg was causing more concern than the bust economy. "I miss Bertie," agreed TD Charlie O'Connor. "He told me three months ago, 'Charlie, do what you do best. Keep your head down and go about your normal business'."
Before the new Taoiseach arrived around lunchtime, his younger brother, Tullamore councillor and auctioneer Barry, was damned if he was going to be baited. Was he nervous for Brian? "I'm never nervous for him. I know how capable and in tune with reality the man is."
To change the subject, Seantor Donie pronounced that the party is "facing its biggest challenge since 1926". Oh, and did you know George Lee is known as George Death in Leinster House?
John Phelan, a local election candidate in Rathfarnham, hinted at trouble on the doorstep when he vowed: "I'm not going to defend decisions I think are wrong." His wife, he said, was a nurse. Shane Moynihan, a 25-year-old candidate in Lucan replied, when asked was he getting abuse on the canvass: "I've been canvassing for 10 years. You get used to it. Dublin North TD Michael Kennedy put it another way. "People aren't slamming the doors in our faces."
Fianna Fáil might like to think it's the Republican party. It's actually the optimists' party. As they gird themselves for what they insist will not be a wipeout in the June polls, the same refrain drifted from various knots of delegates. "Ah, sure, there's never a good time to fight an election."
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