Pop superstar Michael Jackson feared the ravages of old age, sought the company of sycophants and appeared to be abusing prescription drugs and cosmetic surgery nearly a decade before his death, according to a new book by a former adviser.
The Michael Jackson Tapes breaks little in the way of new ground but the book by Shmuley Boteach, based on 30 hours of taped interviews, provides firsthand detail about the performer's excesses and obsessions.
"I don't want to be seen now," Jackson confessed. "Because I am like a lizard. It is horrible."
Jackson died on 25 June aged 50. The self-described King of Pop seemed to sense that his life was winding down.
"I would like some way to disappear where people don't see me anymore at some point," Jackson said. "I don't want to grow old. I never want to look in the mirror and see that."