UNA Butler arrived at Cobh cathedral yesterday to bid farewell to her husband – the man who killed her children and tore a family apart.

Several hundred people turned out at the funeral mass of John Butler, who remains loved and respected in spite of his inhuman actions just days ago.

The tone of yesterday's service was one of forgiveness, of understanding and of love, at the end of a black week in which any community would struggle to find resolve.

John Butler's family, in their collective presence under the cathedral's giant stone pillars, made a gesture of determination to reconcile life with unbearable tragedy, to carry on in its aftermath.

"We love you, John," said his sister Katherine, her words hanging in the air, answering the question everyone was quietly asking: can you love the memory of a man who killed his children?

"You and your beautiful angels will be forever in our hearts," she said, and in unison the congregation burst into applause. There was no sense of hatred here.

Whereas Friday's mass was designed to celebrate the all-too-brief lives of the Butlers' two little girls, this was to mark that of John Butler, regardless of his actions.

There was no appetite to remember a killer, only a father.

"Today we are saying a sad farewell to a beloved husband, son, grandson, uncle, father, neighbour, friend and parishioner," Fr John McCarthy told the sombre audience.

"Last Tuesday will be a day forever etched in our memory. It has been replayed in our minds and will continue to do so many times, how the news was broken to us, as we try to absorb the enormity of what happened.

"It's also a time to remember the good times. John, the committed family man, his love for Una and his doting on his beautiful girls Ella and Zoe, his playing with them and his reading stories to them."

Fr McCarthy spoke of Butler's achievements in football and hurling, and his coffin was wrapped in the flag of Cobh GAA. He bought generous presents for his nieces and nephews, the congregation remembered. He was a caring man.

"This is the John the Butler family will remember," he said.

"The tragedy has reverberated around the whole country and countless people are here with us in spirit, offering prayers of support and comfort.

"What can any of us say? Is there anything that can ease the pain? The funeral mass is a time when we turn to God.

"We ask Him to forgive whatever sins he committed in human weakness."

Outside, the crowds of sympathisers braved the cold winds that swept in over Cobh harbour. The Butler family is a large one and its extended members, friends and well wishers ensured this day would pass with no little ceremony and with no sense of shame.

One of Butler's sisters cradled his picture in her arms as his remains were brought off to be cremated.

Una did not stay for long outside the church. She walked into the background and climbed into a car as the mourners trickled slowly from the cathedral grounds.

It has been a long week for the communities of Ballycotton and Cobh, and even after yesterday's atmosphere of forgiveness, there is a sense that this tragedy will take a lot longer to understand.