Last week I had the pleasure of meeting Mary Robinson who, accompanied by the UN special representative on sexual violence in conflict, Margot Wallstrom, was giving a breakfast briefing to a few journalists about Ireland's plan to implement UN Security Council Resolution 1325 in her role as a special adviser to the Joint Consortium on Gender Based Violence. Robinson is, as we know, a tour de force. Hearing her speak with almost nonchalant intelligence makes you wish for someone of her stature and smarts in the upper echelons of Irish politics right now.

The resolution is basically about women and war; how conflict has a very different impact on women than it does on men, how women need to be protected in times of conflict, and included in peace-building. Passed 10 years ago, the UN is hoping that all member states will develop national action plans based on the resolution. Our own government is in the process of developing such a plan with a view to having it completed by International Women's Day in March 2011.

The facts are pretty bald. It is now more dangerous to be a woman than to be a soldier in modern conflict. In modern wars, up to 90% of casualties are civilians, not soldiers, and most of those are women and children.

Robinson cited the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) where 200,000 women have been raped since the beginning of the war there. Elsewhere in Africa and indeed around the globe, rape is used as a tool of terror in war.

Although stories of militia groups tearing mercilessly through villages in Congo and Liberia may feel very far away and irrelevant to our own lives, the pain, turmoil and long-lasting psychological damage of rape is a universal condition.

It's important in a time of great national economic turmoil and political upheaval not to forget the duties Ireland still has, such as the national action plan on this resolution, but it's also important to use these instances of international action to examine our own behaviour.

A report published by the Rape Crisis Network last week showed that both rape and child abuse is endemic in Irish society. One third of child abuse survivors are raped as adults. One third of all sexual violence against women in Ireland is perpetrated by a current or ex-partner.

Every time a report like this is published or indeed a UN resolution like 1325 is examined, the focus is on the facts and numbers of instances of abuse and rape, the total of crimes reported and subsequent convictions, the adequacy of counselling and aftercare, what emergency support structures are in place, and how women are being educated to protect themselves.

All of these things are important and necessary, but a lot of the time when it comes to discussing sexual violence and rape, be it in Ireland or in the DRC, there's not much spoken about prevention. Men need to be at the centre of education about sexual violence, considering that most of the time, they are the perpetrators.

Put bluntly, if men stopped raping people, then rape would be almost a non-issue, save for the rare cases of sexual crimes committed by women, mostly against children.

We often talk about the huge number of victims of sexual abuse and rape in Ireland, one in four and so on. But what there aren't figures for are the number of perpetrators. A lot of sexual abuse in Ireland as we know happened in religious institutions and in schools and orphanages, with clergy as perpetrators. Many of these abusers had multiple victims, so it would be inaccurate and unfair to suggest that if one in four has suffered some form of abuse, then equally, one in four is also a perpetrator of some sort of abuse. Nevertheless, the perpetrators of sexual violence are the root of the problem. When you take away their actions, the abuse doesn't exist.

We have known for some time that we are an abused nation. But when are we going to face up to the fact that we are also a nation of abusers?

umullally@tribune.ie

Hold me...

By the time you're reading this, I'll be face deep in a "munchy box" in Glasgow. This speciality was recommended to me by a friend before I left for Scotland on Friday and features tandoori chicken, kebab meat, "Glasgow salad", chips and onion rings. No deep-fried Mars bar though, alas.

Thrill me...

After being turned away at the door of the Tripod venue last week when I tried to go see the awesome M.I.A. thanks to an ongoing blacklisting of my name because I wrote about the Pod's finances two years ago, it was nice to be actually let into a gig on Monday to see the excellent Local Natives at the Village. Their debut Gorilla Manor should be on your Christmas list.

Kiss me...

I'm not sure if I could be less interested in a royal wedding, but a few things struck me about Will and Kate's engagement last week. (We're on first-name terms, okay?) 1) Diana's ring was actually kind of gross. 2) Middleton looks like a mini Carla Bruni. 3) Isn't it funny how William used to be the heartthrob but now he's unfortunately looking more and more like his dad, while Harry is growing into his father.

Kill me

An entire economic collapse of the nation I can take to some degree, but being made feel like some seedy addict in a chemist on O'Connell Street when asking politely for Solpadeine is just bang out of order. That's what happened to me on Thursday, followed by a patronising lecture from the pharmacist. You could buy heroin freely outside the door, but a simple painkiller was out of the question. Not on.