“I unreservedly believe we will meet again in the sunlit uplands. And we will”

Words of heart surgeon Maurice Neligan about his murdered daughter Sara, quoted from one of his ‘Irish Times’ columns by his son John at his father’s funeral

“I was with God and the devil there. They fought but God won”

Mario Sepulvedo explains his miner miracle after 69 days underground

“We do just witter on because most questions you come up with you either know the answer to or they are never going to be answered”

Jonathan Ross replacement Graham Norton explains why chat shows (for which he will be paid £2m to present) are so boring

“I think that’s bullshit frankly. They could do it if they wished”

U2 manager Paul McGuinness insists internet service provider UPC could deal with illegal fileshares if it wanted to

“Tell David Cameron that if he screws up my beloved NHS I’ll come back and bloody haunt him”

Deathbed last words of famed agony aunt and campaigner Claire Rayner

“There aren’t that many good- looking actresses around today. I mean there’s Angelina Jolie – and there’s Angelina Jolie. Jennifer Aniston is cute, but I wouldn’t call her beautiful. She’s no Ava [Gardner], Lana [Turner] or Audrey Hepburn”

Veteran actress Joan Collins (77) laments today’s lack of glamour

“So-called citizen journalism is the spewing and rantings of very drunk people late at night – fantastic at times but it is not going to replace journalism”

BBC political presenter Andrew Marr lets “inadequate, pimpled and single” bloggers know what real journalism is all about