When the dust settles on this thing, we may have to set up re-education camps. The concept of re-education camps was pioneered by the murderous Khmer Rouge, when they took over Cambodia in 1975. The purpose was to rewrite history in the Khmer's image. In our case, we will need re-education camps to ensure that recent history isn't obliterated.

Right now, there is obliterating aplenty, and it must be stopped. The re-education camps, as designed by this column, will be held in old IRA bunkers along the border. Various categories of offenders will surrender their pinstriped suits at the entrance and be handed pairs of Asian pyjamas, before filing in for compulsory classes. When they re-emerge, the hope is that they will be fit to rejoin society cleansed of self-delusion.

The first item on the curriculum will be the meaning of the term 'scapegoat'. According to the Oxford Dictionary, a scapegoat is a "person bearing blame due to others". Right now, there are moves afoot in this country to re-interpret the term as meaning "insulate me from the fallout".

Last Sunday, on Marian Finucane's radio show, former government adviser Gerry Howlin suggested that poor Bertie Ahern was a scapegoat for the current economic woes.

Mr Howlin, for the record, is a respected PR guru and not a comedian.

The last time I looked, it was accepted far and wide that the local element to our perfect storm is entirely down to how this country's economy developed over the last 10 years. Whether bankers, builders or candlestick makers were to the fore, the place was being run by an elected government. The last time I looked, Bertie Ahern was the leader of that government, bigging up the bubble. Now, his former sidekicks are presenting him as a scapegoat. Fit that Bertie man out for a pair of pyjamas.

Last Wednesday, I was only out of my own pyjamas when I nearly choked on an Irish Times column. Sarah Carey was suggesting that auctioneers were the latest batch of scapegoats.

Her contention came on foot of a sensible suggestion that Nama refused to employ any Irish auctioneers for the purpose of valuing the properties it acquires. Sarah said: "What an indictment of Irish auctioneers. Is the government really saying there is not one in the country who can be trusted to give a fair and reasonable value on a property?"

Well, actually, yes. Where were the brave, trustworthy auctioneers when guide prices were being used as a crude tool to inflate house prices? Where was the dissonant voice decrying the greed that was dragging the business into the gutter? Did you hear them?

Where was the Honest Joe auctioneer when the market began going south, and the loud noises in the business kept proclaiming it was still buoyant, dragging gullible first-time buyers into the web?

Auctioneers didn't create the problem, but by God many of them fed off it like vultures, and if some were uncomfortable, they kept their own counsel. They can hardly now claim to be scapegoats. Sorry, Sarah, no concession to feminine fashion in the bunker. Get sized up for the unisex pair.

Scapegoats were on safari at the teachers' conferences last week. In Killarney, delegate Seán Fallon told the ASTI conference: "We are a bullied profession with very low morale and now we are showing all the signs and symptoms."

Last time I looked, teachers were among the public service union members who did quite well out of Ahern's unique neo-liberal/throw money at everything principle of governing. Benchmarking and pensions the rest of us could only drool over ensure that teachers are far from scapegoats.

The same couldn't be said for the pupils and their parents at the lowest rung of society who will face the worst of the savage education cuts. They are genuine scapegoats, but whether their plight is top of the teachers' agenda is another matter.

According to ASTI delegate Lily Cronin: "Every teacher in every staff room has nothing else on their mind only the pension levy." Re-education pyjamas will be on stand-by for some of the educationalists who see themselves as scapegoats.

One four-star scapegoat who will require comprehensive re-education is Seán FitzPatrick. The greedy little man deserves all that is coming to him, but he has also been a convenient scapegoat for many others. The banking crisis in this country is not down solely to FitzPatrick's activities.

Heads in Ibec and the bankers' federation now talk of the small number of bankers – meaning Seánie and a few others – who besmirched the good name of the business. What about the reckless greed that drove the rest of them, those who couldn't get out of bed for less than €2m a year?

Seánie led the way, but the others followed with their tongues hanging out. The premise for their huge bucks was that they had big brains capable of differentiating between recklessness and prudent lending. They obviously weren't up to the job, and now Seánie's descent from high standing is providing them with cover.

Fit the lot of them out for pyjamas, but supply Seánie with an armour-plated pair, because he won't be popular with anybody in the bunker.

Re-education is all we are left with in the face of relentless spinning to rewrite history. All those poor scapegoats, who grew fat or powerful on the tiger's tail and now protest they are being victimised, must be gently reintroduced to the real world. Roll on the revolution.