Most out-of-this-world holiday resort

Erindipity is in holiday mode this week. This is mainly due to last weekend's Sindo, which led with a story castigating our leaders for going on holidays "as the economic crisis worsens".

The article continued on page five where we beheld a picture of gossip columnist Barry Egan paddling on a Spanish beach with Rosanna Davison. The wind and saltwater had clearly been at work on those famous flowing locks, which were displaying more splits than a can-can dancer on speed. (Conditioner, Barry, use more conditioner.)

The accompanying story ran: "You know Ireland's economy has officially hit the buffers when Miss World 2003 is taking budget flights to Spain . . ."

Rosanna is quoted as saying "If you are walking around Dublin in the cold and the rain, why not hop on a plane to Spain?"

This prompted visions of homeless people settling down for the night under copies of the Sindo, reading Rosanna's advice and then heading to the nearest travel agent. Perhaps they could stay in her gaff?

Now you may think that this is a flimsy premise for a news story, but here's the thing: she might be right. If everyone – regardless of the fact that they are not the offspring of a multi-millionaire – buggered off to Spain, then we'd have less people on the live register and more jobs to go around. Hurray! Who needs Alan Greenspan when we have Rosanna?

The CSO figures back Rosanna up. They show that more Irish people are going abroad than ever before (with the exception of the Famine).

We're not, though. It's a Bank Holiday and we're stuck here on this page talking to page three while everyone – except you, of course – has gone abroad. Yet we're still feeling holidayish. Why? Because tomorrow we're going to Bundoran.

The Sunday Tribune reported last week that local councillor Sean McEniff intends to sue Meatloaf for allegedly slandering him during a gig in the town. The singer claimed he had safety concerns about the venue at the Bundoran Live Festival, which McEniff robustly refuted.

McEniff was in the news last year when the Lonely Planet guide book described his beloved Bundoran as tacky with 'overpriced B&Bs'. He hit back saying it was so clean "you could eat your breakfast on the streets of Bundoran". Mind you, with those B&B prices, you might actually choose to do just that.

Anyway, to hell with the begrudgers and those suggesting foreign climes, Bundoran is Ireland's Most Out Of This World Resort, as we discovered when researching this week's beaches/holiday resort-themed miscellany.

Let's head to the beach now . . .

Shortest beach

Lonely Leitrim has the country's lowest population density at 18 people per square km. It's appropriate that a county with so few people should have Ireland's shortest coastline. This is a scutty 3.21km of Donegal Bay, 14.5km southwest of Bundoran.

The 2006 census shows that Leitrim is split down the middle on gender lines with 14,903 chaps to 14,047 ladies. On top of that, 33.1pc are under 25. With that young 1:1 ratio, Leitrim is seeing plenty of love action and will soon be bursting with families bringing their kids to that tiny beach. If it gets over-crowded, they could always head to Ireland's . . .

Longest beach

The longest beach in Ireland can be found in Kerry and stretches 19.5km from Maharees to Cloghane village. The second longest is Benone Strand (11km) across the border from Bundoran in Derry.

However, (or highandever as they say in Derry), Benone has a more interesting claim to fame – it was here that Harry Ferguson made the first powered flight in Ireland in 1909.

Derry isn't the only county with a beach/aviation connection . . .

Best beach for unmanned aircraft

Everybody knows that Alcock and Brown were the first men to fly across the Atlantic, landing near Clifden, Co Galway in 1919.

Just about as many people are unaware that airmen, Maynard Hill, Barrett Foster and David Brown also set a transatlantic record in Galway, on 11 August, 2003.

On this occasion, however, the pilots were not in the plane as it broke the record for Longest Distance Flight by a Model Aircraft. The men radio-controlled 'The Spirit of Butts' Farm' 3,030km from Newfoundland to Mannin beach in just 39 hours.

Co Meath, too, has a reputation for things flying along beaches . . .

Best strand for horse racing

Laytown strand has witnessed more riding than a Dollymount dogging session. It is the only place in Europe where you'll find officially-sanctioned horse racing on a beach. The races have been going since 1868 and Charles Stuart Parnell was one of its first stewards. Even the Aga Khan has attended (in 1950).

There's a story about the 1927 meeting that's worth telling. As the field in the third race were battling it out, a bank of mist rolled in off the sea and hid them from view. Spectators were alarmed to hear muffled cries, shrieks of anger and the crack of a whip coming from the ball of mist.

When the pack re-emerged, two horses were riderless and a jockey who had been at the back of the field was now leading it by a distance.

He won the race after a stewards' inquiry cleared him due to lack of proof of foul play.

We're proud to say that that jockey was our granddad Eddie Kenny. If he whipped his competitors, we're sure he only did it as a last resort.

Did someone say resort . . .

Most out-of-this-world beach resort

Forget Marbella, Bundoran is so hip that tourists from all over the world flock there each year. Some come from even further afield (cue spooky music) – like from OUTER SPACE.

In June 1999, the Daily Mirror ran a story headlined 'Is This a Baby Alien?' with a picture of an alien-looking creature in a jar.

The report said that a Donegal butcher had been driving past Finner Army Camp, just outside of Bundoran, when he saw a flash of light. Thinking something had crashed, he went into a field beside the base to investigate. There he found an alien, six inches long, with a huge head and spindly limbs. It was lying in a hollow in the ground with smoke rising off it.

The butcher took his alien to the gardai who reckoned it was a rabbit. (A rabbit from outer space? A Space Hopper??)

Scientists in Belfast, the Mirror said, examined the strange foetus, bunged it in a jar and labelled it 'alien embryo, origin unknown'. It now resides in the butcher's shop.

The butcher said that, since his discovery, the alien field had become overrun with rabbits. "There were always about five or six but now there are thousands." (Randy space rabbits – soon they will take over Bundoran! We're DOOOOMED!!!)

If Ireland – and specifically Bundoran – is good enough for alien tourists, then we reckon it should be good enough for Rosanna Davison. After all, didn't her dad have a hit with 'A Spaceman Came Travelling'?

We'll never know where the alien came from or why it chose to get jarred in Bundoran. We'd like to think it just wanted some old-fashioned Irish craic and company – it did look pretty forlorn, after all.

Perish the thought, but could it have come from a Lonely Planet?