I placed the ad because my husband Jim and I didn't get to celebrate Stefan's birth. He was born very prematurely at 25 weeks. It was such a traumatic time. I made a series of promises to keep us going and one of them was that if he reached 21, I would put a notice in the back of the Irish Times.

I was sick from the moment I fell pregnant with Stefan. I always had a headache. I never felt well and nobody would listen to me. They kept saying that it was normal to feel ill but I knew it couldn't be normal. I used to get these violent headaches that became horrendous at 22 weeks. Then at 24 weeks things started to get even worse. My body swelled to the size of the Elephant Man. I was finally diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and sent to Mount Carmel. I was then transferred to Holles Street where I went in and out of consciousness. I remember my mother and Jim by the bed as I felt this blackness coming over me. It was very serious. Two days later my blood pressure soared. It was 220 over 135, which is very, very high. So I was taken for an emergency C-section and Stefan was born at 25 weeks' gestation.

After five days they finally wheeled me up to see him. I thought he was absolutely beautiful but frighteningly tiny. I was afraid to touch him in case I'd break him. My friend who'd trained in the Coombe showed me how to hold him and once I'd broken the barrier and realised that I wasn't going to hurt him, there was no stopping me. I bonded with Stefan within a very short period of time. I used to rub noses with him.

The unit and the staff in Holles Street were amazing. We visited Stefan for 103 days, twice a day. Over that time, we had some very big scares. I remember one day I went up to his bed and suddenly he went into some sort of fit and couldn't breathe. His body arched up in front of me. I couldn't speak because I got such a fright and struggled to call the nurse but eventually I did. And I just ran out of the place. That was one of the worst moments.

When he was three-and-a-half months I fought with the hospital to get him home. He was doing so well but he needed more TLC and cuddling. I brought him home and he thrived. But it hasn't been easy over the years. His eyesight is damaged. He had no peripheral vision and one of his eyes is still bad. He had glasses from 11 months. We used to call him the granddad baby. He also went through a period of hyperactivity. He has dyslexia and his concentration wouldn't be great, but he's done everything at his own pace – even his own birth.

He's doing a Post-Leaving Cert course at the moment and would like to be the curator of a small museum.

Unfortunately I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia again at 25 weeks with my daughter Kirsten. She was born at 32 weeks and weighed in at 3lbs 14 ounces. That was a huge baby for me and she didn't suffer the problems that Stefan did. They're very close and I'm lucky to have two such wonderful children.

I couldn't thank everyone who helped us in the ad but it's an acknowledgement for them. I also wanted to give hope to people who are in a similar situation at the moment to what we were in 21 years ago. I want to tell them that there is hope for everything. Stefan is testament to that. Never give in.

And to my son Stefan, who is a gentleman and the most mannerly, pleasant, loving young man you could meet, I want to tell him we are so very proud.

In conversation with Claire Ryan