Brian McFadden

C'mon, people! During tough times like these, it's absolutely crucial that we accentuate the positive at any given opportunity. Yes, the country is in the crapper and thousands are sailing once more, but look at it this way: it's keeping Brian 'Bryan' McFadden on the other side of the planet, and for that we are truly grateful. The former Westlife ninny turned short-lived solo superstar flipped off to Oz with paramour Delta Goodrem after his career hit the skids round these parts – these days, amusingly enough, he's apparently a judge on Australia's Got Talent. And yes, he's already been a judge on Australian Idol. Remember how Brian tearfully told Ryan Tubridy he'd love to be closer to the two unfortunate kids he left in the 'care' of his ex-wife, tabloid train-wreck Kerry McFadden, but had to go where the work was? Tragic stuff altogether. Now we hear that Delta and Brian are living separate lives – he's moving in with a mate while she tries to break LA one more time. We're begging them to give it another try. Here's a hot tip, kids: if you're one of the first 1,000 people to pre-order Brian's new album Wall Of Soundz (dig the fly spelling!) directly from his website, you get your name in the CD booklet AND a signed copy! No, wait, the offer's only open to Australian residents. Damn you, Fads. Don't forget to write… Postcards, not songs, we stress.