Electric dream: blag a free parking space by 'charging your motor'

We're slightly bemused by the news that electric car power sources are to be introduced around the capital because (a) nobody has any electric cars and (b), well, there is no (b). It could mean however that you could be very sneaky-sneaky and blag a free car-parking space in town by 'pulling over' to 'charge' your motor. Our fail-proof guide to building a fake electric car in order to avail of said fake parking space involves (a) Sellotaping loads of Duracell batteries to the bonnet of your Range Rover and (b), well, anyway. Failing that, we've come up with the Definitive Top Three Alternative City Transport Modes When Your Fake Electric Car Gets Clamped.

1. Model T: get an unemployed model to piggyback you to your destination. There's loads of them around and they don't cost much.

2. Viking of the Road: carry a trusty Viking hat with you at all times and simply hop on and off those amphibious Viking tour vehicles.

3. Hover-all-aboard: Back to the Future 2 was set in 2015, so hoverboards are just four and a bit years away! Order yours now by sending us your gold or calling 555-HoverSwizz. We are waiting for your call.