What's that smell? It's kind of musty, kind of cruddy, kind of like the carpet of a nightclub before the cleaners get in... Oh, that's right, it's half of Ireland's population. The revelation this week from a survey (gotta love soap-brand-funded surveys) that 48% of Irish men were comfortable with not showering for two days should come as no surprise to anyone who has ever been in a pub/sports shop/barbers/video game store/gym or indeed has had any kind of interaction at all with any Irish male. It should however come as a surprise that Irish men take an average of 15 minutes to "get ready" in the morning, which seems wildly off the mark. How can falling over a bottle of Lucozade Sport, staring blankly into the mirror for 12 seconds and pulling jocks out of the wash basket take 15 minutes? Seventy per cent of Irish men are also "comfortable" with their back hair, which I suppose is slightly better than being "insecure" about something they can't see. The dubious survey results continue with 80% of women claiming they don't mind sharing their beauty products with men, which is highly generous of a demographic who have yet to notice that their Touche Eclat is right this second being used to disguise back hair.